Life Can Serve Up Lemons

The smart, female astronaut driven to insanity by a man. Honestly, (and don't think less of me of this post) except for the weird diaper-wearing-bit, I can see how she could be so angry to seek revenge. Although, I think her anger is being directed at the wrong person. I am speculating, but read she recently separated from her husband. I think, she had an affair (and I say shame of her for that), then left her husband for this guy, whereas the guy found himself another girl. And there is the rub. I am not saying I condon any of this behavior but I can, at some level, understand what drove her to her insanity.

I have seen many breakups, ugly, heart-wretching breakups. Most I experienced through my friends, only once was I left so devastated that it took me years to get over the cruelity, humilation at which I had been treated and portrayed as a crazy, insane bitch. But this is how is done, in case any of you haven't experienced this yourselves. The man has an affair, at some points tells you or if he is a real chicken-shit, will not tell you the truth at all, but leave you hanging in limbo trying to guess what YOU did wrong. Or he leaves you with a house full of kids, a house, by the way, that he as a contractor never even worked on and is about to fall down, ignores child support then moves off with your friend that is "now" his girlfriend and proceeds to build her an enormous house on riverfront property, buy boats, take vacations but still refuses to pay health insurance for his kids. You have to see this kissing, adoring couple at the kid's baseball games, football games that you attend, alone. The entire town rallies around him, because he is on the city council, an adored contractor, and of course, he was married to "that bitch". He never has a rational conversation with you, only starting every phone converstion by calling you a "f*&cking bitch". I have seen this tranference of guilt and hate many, many times. He has the affair and leaves, but YOU are the bitch.

So I begged my very funny, smart, psychologist friend, who is still living this post-divorce hell to write a book. A book that tells women, like me, and others I know, that we are not crazy for feeling crazy. That they did nothing wrong, just did not see the signs. That you are not a fire-breathing bitch.

This is how men can drive woman to the edge of insanity, some fall off and think harming someone will make them feel better. Trust me, I have had these thoughts, just never acted on them. My now-divorced-single-working-moms-with-lots-kids-and-no-time-or-energy-to-have-a-date, they have had those devilish fantasies as well.

We were having a conversation about the nutty astronaut, pitying her and disapproving at the same time. But then we landed on the subject of the wife who ran over her husband at the hotel where he was engaging in a trist with his lover. We both giggled maniacally and said in unison, we never thought she should be convicted of that minor infraction. I guess you have to experience it, or see your friends half-dead from grief to say, sometimes running over your husband can be a good thing. And as a side note, D bought her a little pillow for her birthday that says, "I ran into my husband the other day, then backed up and ran over him again". Humor does heal absolute hurt.

We learn from all of these experiences, and they do make you a bigger, better, stronger person. I know that from my heart. It still does not make it any easier when you are going through hell. So, let's not be too hard on the diaper-wearing astronaut.