Whenever I find myself in a stressful but grateful situation, I clean. Not just clean ... I mopped floors on my hands and knees. I can't remember if I did this before I saw it on some old movie, or I saw it on that (unremembered movie) and said, gosh I do that myself. But I feel like it is a humbling myself before God reminding myself I am not beneath anything for anyone. To mop a floor reminds me that I am not so proud and I am so grateful of what has been given to me. And the doing of it always feels right somehow.
Mom is doing so much better today. She is getting bored and very grumpy and I see that as a good sign. The internal bleeding has finally stopped (after many "procedures"). I am hoping tomorrow she will be home. And now her room is clean from ceiling to floor ...
And her roommate, Pauline ... is doing better today. Her ex-daughter-in-law visited and they discussed her moving into the new nursing facility. I kept asking mom how she was doing.
So I plan on mopping more floors tomorrow. Thank you all so much for your sweet thoughts and prayers!
I unwillingly left mom in the hospital room tonight. I really thought I would spend the night in the "lounge" chair. They had planted a roommate in there and the room became so crowded with nurses, me, potty chairs, etc, that I finally thought it prudent if I left. But leaving my mom there one more night, alone, was really difficult. They still can't stop the GI bleeding and she is still receiving infusions of blood. I can't believe 12 hours ago we were bringing her home and now she has gone through 3 more "procedures" and still bleeding. What was a scary incident and now turned out to be almost unbelievable. (I won't go into the part about how I suggested that maybe the place they cauterized the first time had maybe come unglued and was ignored ... which btw, was the case).
I sat in the dark and watched her sleep. Thought who would get the jokes about the "hot house" where I lived as a child. My grandmother, uncle lived with us ... in a hot attic apartment in Texas ... so small that when my grandmother snored, the house would rattle and everyone would kick the others bed until whomever was sleeping next to my grandmother would kick hers to get her to stop. I started thinking about what phone calls I should make. But she is the one with the "family" numbers and I always get her to make the phone calls to family about important matters. And then I make myself stop thinking those thoughts and get back to planning on cleaning and doing laundry when I get home.
There was a moment that brought me to tears tonight. The woman in the next bed had a pacemaker mess-up ... I guess they put it in the wrong spot (is that possible?) and then they had to re-plant it. She wasn't looking good. But got a little more agitated when I came in and started fussing over mom. She was crying, sobbing, really with the TV blaring. The nurses came to ask what was wrong, was she comfortable, checked her blood sugar, etc. Then she started telling the nurse what nursing home she had come from and that she was going to stay closer to her ex-daughter-in-law and grandson in Tacoma. I could only surmise from that information that her son was gone. Her husband probably gone as well. She had no other relatives. She said she didn't like to be in that room, and she was so sad.
At that point, tears were streaming from my eyes, thankfully the curtain hid my profound sadness from her. I had heard her tell the nurse that she had been sad for years. I was thinking, where were her belongings? Where did she live? Was she is moving from one nursing home to another? I asked her if I could help her with anything. I asked her if she needed some water. I washed her face and hands a couple of times with a hot cloth. I pampered her for a couple of minutes. I wish I could have pampered her a little longer. How sad is life when one ends in the company of strangers. In a cold, noisey hospital, room with the curtains drawn, machines bleeping their constant warnings. With no family there to hold your hand. I will pamper her a little more tomorrow. I tried not to cry all the way home.
Psychobox, contains 48 psychological tests and brilliantly diverse optical illusions, each on a 5 5/16" x 7 5/8" card with informative and witty instructions for use on the back, and each inviting the reader's participation. via Design Undercover.
People often ask me if it is difficult to live with your mother. And I say, sometimes it is. When she is telling me to clean my room when I am, uhm...uhm, 50-something-years-old. When she gets upset about how M and I can take off our clothes in one motion, leaving the underwear, socks, pants, shirt all in one piece (which she laters has to unravel to do laundry). When she won't sit down to watch a movie and keeps cleaning the kitchen, banging plates and pans together so we can't hear the movie ... until I feel compelled to get up and go see what needs to be down in the kichen. Those are all small things when I think about my mom living too far away from me to see her everyday ... to talk and listen and have our lives entwined until the end. I don't want it any other way. I am very lucky to have her as my mom.
Living with a parent can teach you so much about life. Compassion, compromise and lots more love. Thank you all so very, very much for all of your well wishes. I printed them out and took them to the hospital. She had another scare with GI bleeding and is still in ICU.
Tonight, when I gave M the last bit of mom's dressing (that I completely love) ... I had the morbid thought ... that might be the last bite of her dressing ever and I am not eating it myself! But I know she will be back cooking and crashing around in the kitchen before I know it. The kitchen is my mom's domain. She cooks and cleans in her finest jewerly and clothes ... She has the knack. I do not. And I know I have not eaten the last of my mom's home cookin'.
I really love to eat mushrooms but would never eat wild mushrooms that I had found somewhere and couldn't identity. I always wanted to go mushroom hunting with a Mycology group. I love to shoot them because they have such interesting shapes. But when I saw black mushrooms appearing in the back yard, dark, black, glossy, dangerous looking ones, I wanted to know what they were and still haven't found them.
There are a variety of mushrooms, divided into categories or groups. Each category causes different symptoms. Group 1. CYCLOPEPTIDES: The first signs and symptoms may not develop for six to 24 hours, usually 10-14 hours after the ingestion. Symptoms begin with sharp abdominal pains, followed by violent vomiting and persistent diarrhea, often containing blood and mucous. In three to four days, the patient begins to worsen with symptoms of kidney and liver failure. Death is very possible.
Group 1A. ORELLANINE: Symptoms begin 36 hours to 11 days after ingestion. They include nausea, lack of appetite, headache and, most importantly, a severe burning thirst and kidney failure.
Group 2. IBOTENIC ACID-MUSCIMOL: A state resembling alcohol intoxication develops 30 to 60 minutes after ingestion. Confusion, muscle spasms, delirium and visual disturbances, which last for about four hours, develop following the intoxicated state. Vomiting usually does not occur. Drowsiness and sleep follow and recovery is usually rapid.
Group 3. MONOMETHYLHYDRAZINE: After six to eight hours, the patient experiences a feeling of fullness in the stomach followed by vomiting and watery diarrhea. Headache, fatigue, cramps and intense pain in the liver and stomach regions occur, followed by jaundice. Seizures occur in severe cases.
Group 4. MUSCARINE-HISTAMINE: Within 30 minutes to two hours after ingestion, symptoms include sweating, drooling, diarrhea, watery eyes, blurred vision, pinpoint pupils, decreased heart rate and blood pressure, and asthmatic breathing. (The sweating, drooling, diarrhea and watery eyes do NOT occur with other types of mushroom poisonings.)
Group 5. COPRINE: Symptoms will occur if this mushroom is eaten by a person who drinks alcohol within the next 5 days. Flushing of the face and neck, a metallic taste in the mouth, numbness of the hands and feet, palpitations, and an increased heart rate are the symptoms.
Group 6. PSILOCYBIN-PSILOCYN: These are the hallucinogenic mushrooms that alter consciousness. An intoxicated or hallucinogenic condition begins between 30 and 60 minutes after ingestion. The mood may be apprehensive (anxious) or pleasant. The person may experience compulsive movements and uncontrolled laughter. In children, a high temperature (102-106½ F) with seizures may develop.
Group 7. GASTROINTESTINAL: Within 30 to 90 minutes of ingestion, sudden severe vomiting and mild to severe diarrhea with abdominal cramps occurs. Symptoms generally last six hours. In children, this may lead to dehydration severe enough to require hospital treatment. via Myko Web
When my husband had his first heart attack and I was walking down the corridor back to the car ... I broke down. Stopped in my tracks and wept. Shaking and scared. Then I thought of our son, small and unknowing and I wiped my eyes and headed out the door vowing never to cry, look frightened and confused in front of M. Many more scares and I never broke down again. That happens when you have kids. You become a rock. You don't want your children to be frightened or insecure about their life and parents.
When my mom asked me to call 911 yesterday that stoic feeling came back. Not to lose my emotions in this, one of the scariest feelings in the world. The thought of losing your mom. My mom is in the hospital and they are trying to figure it all out.
"Anatomy of Folklore, tells tales from autumn woods past, where the wildness falls into folkloric order through the paintings of a storyteller and finds its bodies warped into sculpture with the blades and turnbuckles of a lumberjack.
In this exhibition the trees and waves spill forth from the exquisite folkloric work of Evan Harris and Lawrence LaBianca. Both masters of their craft, their work is meticulously rendered and beautiful to behold,but while Harris’s begs of us an ear for his stories, LaBianca’s cannot help but question the root of all story."
I can't be outside right now because someone is pruning the hydrangeas ... muderously. And I am paying him to do it. I am too emitionally attached to them to prune too much so I think this is for the best.
I am too old to stay on a ladder that long! So I have stopped at 4 branches. If I find more before my inlaws get here for Christmas I might throw more up there.
I had a little vision today while gathering fallen tree limbs ... of all the ceiling decorations falling on the Thanksgiving table ... so I am really securing the branches the ceiling, doing them a couple of days early, to give them a chance to fall, if they want to. This is how it all looks before ;)
Mom made herself a date/nut pie, precooked lots of t-day food today. I put her favorite songs on the cd player to have a little listen. Songs that we had listened to together our entire lives, we had a little cry and hug. Then I asked my son what he thought we my favorite song. First, he the one we were listening to at the moment, which was the blue diva singing Lucia Di Lammermoor. I said no, that was my second favorite. I made him sit down and listen to my first favorite song of all times (Lakme, Flower Duet). He then yawned and off to bed. But someday I hope, he will remember. I think it is important to remember what his parents favorite songs were. Mom and I know what our favorites are together, and that is a comfort. So, here in our tiny world ... we are having a great time.
I love handmade books. Today while searching for branches to hang from my ceilling, I ran across the biggest mushrooms I have ever seen! Brought one back to examine it. The delicate folds remind me of a lovely book with thick, curving pages. Isn't that remarkable?
We are cooking and cleaning. My self-portrait is more about my mom and me than me. I clean and she cooks. My T-day cooking only involves putting the marshmallows on the yams and making the brussel sprouts. My mom cooks in whatever she is wearing and always looks great while she does it. I have had on the same clothes for the last two days trying to clean the house for Thanksgiving. Go see what everyone else wearing.
And I am wearing cleaning clothes today ... Scooter helping me clean the house.
I had the most wonderful chat via phone with Kelly! It is so nice to connect with someone you have admired from a distance for so long. Blogging can a close and instant bond with people you would never have the opportunity to meet on an everyday level!
I have seen Liang Wei landscapes at Edmonds Art Festival and always love seeing his work. Maybe someday, I will own one.
My mouth dropped open and I squealed when I saw The Laughing Boy from Missoula creates the most wonderful fabric sculptures. I want the cowboy.
Dova silks, her site doesn't capture the beauty of her silk clothes! But I will own one of her blouses some day soon. Wonderful wooden bowls by Ham N eggs.
And last but not least, purchased some stacking rings from Karthia Studios ... (mom encouraging my little obsession with rings). She doesn't show the style I bought on her website, but they are wonderful and very affordable! I have been wanting something like these for some a long time. And now I have them on my finger ;)
I woke up right where I fell asleep last night watching Miss Marple, with a flicker sitting outside the window. Looking at me? Or looking at himself in the reflection of the glass in the french doors. Trying to decide where he could do the most damage, I suspect. After grabbing a drink of water from an overflowing flower pot saucer he flew off. I grabbed my camera anyway and braved the dog poop in the very soggy backyard (won't mention the name of the person who is meant to be cleaning the grass of those deposits ... M!)
Have not been a good custodian of the yard this year. Hydrangeas were left to rot without doing my "big fall hydrangea cutting". So there they all are looking sad that they did not find their way into the house and houses of friends. It feels splendid to be off for a week, a quiet morning of coffee and food network and trying to decide what to do next.
I think mom and I will head over the Northwest Craft Show today, then decide what room I should start cleaning first.
John L. Sanford passed away last weekend. A lovely person, a fun creative director, a dedicated husband, a lover of his animals. He was my creative director in the first years, always willing to go to battle for the art department. This was my version of him for a going away card when he left so many years ago. We will miss him! I just replaced the art, this was the original "Happy Trails To You" card
I had to bow out of an amazing project today. I am not sure I would have had the job but with my present schedule and I was starting to worry I couldn't even get the prilimary work finished. It was such a fun project, I am disappointed but relieved that I won't screw something up. I have someone very special to thank for even considering me for the work!
I have never minded working hard. But at my age, I really want to enjoy my house, my decorating, cleaning, doing art, working in the garden ... and I have done none of these since April when my schedule changed. With the big ongoing project at work taking most of my energy. Yes, it is exciting. But what happens to my life? Before I was married, had a child, or house or garden ... I would not have minded. Today, I realized that this year is nearing the end and it will be another year gone. I shot one little photo this morning to remind myself that fall is happening out there and that I almost missed it ... sans what I see from my car window driving back and forth to work. I need more beauty, more art, more photography, more enjoyment in my life instead of pushing pixels and css code around on my screen. ;) Okay, off to work. Go enjoy the fall colors, please, for me!
[later} Thanks to Dee for pointing out the insane comments on that most touching photo of a mom returning home to her child. In my hurried state of surfing during lunch I did not notice the thread on that photo. Although I am against this particular war, I am completely disgusted that people would have the audacity to leave snide and ugly comments about this mom and her reunion with her daughter. If she chooses to serve her country in whatever capacity for whatever reasons is simply no one else's flippin' (am choosing a better word here than I would rather use) business. All I can say in my total disgust is I DARE THEM. As they sit comfortably in their family rooms in front of their computer screens to judge someone else and their circumstances ... who do they think they are?
Got home Saturday night late from work, opened to the new House & Garden magazine to a little piece on event planner David Stark's recycled paper topiaries. Swooned! Was too tired to search him out last night. And discovered many, many more wonderful things on his site. Why didn't I grow up to be an event planner? And what is going on with this being the last issue of House & Garden? What will I do ... it is one of the last magazines I actually subscribe to. NYT's article. And NO, the website too?
"What I wear" is the theme this month ... I am wearing my favorite colors, a hazely-golden-green (something like this: khaki4: 0c 4m 44y 45k)(or Hex: #808000) various shades of grey and black, reflecting the foggy mood of this fall today. Go check out what others are wearing at Self-Portrait Challenge.
This great idea, flowerbox, flowers hanging on the wall (I just wish they would leave their logo off the display box). Doorganizer and these adorable hand-knitted hats of La Folie both via The Chic Mom via Amazon's blog.
If I can't watch mystery on PBS Sunday nights, then I have purchased my own. The only reason I love Sunday nights: 60 minutes and PBS mystery! I order The Ruth Rendell Mysteries and Agatha Christie's Miss Marple Series 2 and 3 starring the impish, sherry drinking Geraldine McEwan. Another reason to have something good to watch on hand, the strike.
I am catching up tonight, The incredible Michele tagged me for my list of 5 things I want to be when I grow up and I have not had time to participate until now. I have been working the last weekends on a project that I can't talk about now. But I just submitted my last excercises until they choose an appropriate illustrator for the job. I am exhausted from the exercise! Exciting and exhaustion. I know it wil all turn out the way it is suppose to. '_
1. Taking a road trip that would last at least a month. Driving from one small town to another without an agenda or a schedule. Just driving, stopping at will ...
2. I want to be the owner of a smal pearl stud that is piercing one nostril.
3. I want to be standing in a log cabin in the mountains that own. Small and exquisite. In the most incredible landscape and when I walk inside, I say, "I can't believe I own this".
4. To have one of the thousands of ideas I have during the day end up being a multi-million dollar company .. owned by ... ME!
5. Having my idea, the one I think about everyday being a very successful company .... that would be the ultimate.
why does it take typepad pages much longer to load than other pages, then even longer when I leave a comment?
why does the soap dwindle to one little bubble in the soap dish and no one in my house will get a new bar of soap?
why do I have to stand in a foot of water in the bathtub knowing the drain is plugged up and no one in my house will take the time to fix it, except me?
why do designers make the type on the conditioner and shampoo bottles in 8 or smaller point size, beige against gold so when you are in shower without your glasses you can't read which one you are using?
why does the dog #1 want to go outside just as you get comfortable on the sofa ... then dog #2 wants to go out 10 minutes later, just when you have gotten comfortable for the second time?
why am I never hungry when I cook a meal?
why can't Apple fix my computer after three visits?
why is my son so grumpy every morning?
why did I let my Martha Stewart Living subscription expire and then have to buy the issue at the grocery check-out because it looks like the best issue ever?
why does a "night-owl" have to work a early morning shift?
why do I have so much make-up when I never wear it anymore?
why can't I throw away any of the hundreds of items that are my paint clothes, even though I haven't done art in months?
why do I have so many t-shirts? (most do not fit me)
why does my mom insist on talking to me from downstairs when I am upstairs, sitting comfortably in my big chair, when she knows I can't hear her from where she is asking her question, then when I get up to go in search of the question ... she says to me, "oh, I was talking to myself"
why can't I give away clothes that do not fit me now?
why is time going so darn fast?
why do I feel our politicians are all corrupt?
why do I feel like a child most of the time, when I know I am a responsible adult with a family, job and bills to pay?
why do I always run out of one color ink when the store is closed?
I have a wonderful alter ego near by who sends me delicious links. House Ring and Neighborhood Ring by JDavisStudio (I really need one of these rings!). j m ryan's rings. kyyote rings.
The most adorable brooches by Abbot and Ellwood (and totally check out their sculptures. Paintbrush ring by Kate Brightman. I love these rings by Corinne Hamk, Corian rings by Fritz Maierhofer, all via the most entertaining, The Carrot Box blog.
Devil's claw, a common name for the unicorn plant, is a native plant of southern United States. Its sticky, seed pod with a curved horn is what makes this plant unusual. The thick body of the three to four inch pod ends in a curved horn the same length. When dry this horn splits into two sharp claws.
Our friend turned 75 and D put together a musical memory 4-cd set to celebrate the ocassion. Here is the list D came up with. And the cover art that I created for it. We make a great team.
DISK ONE INTRO: Over the Rainbow — Judy Garland (original recording, The Wizard Of Oz) 1932: It Don't Mean A Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing) — Duke Ellington & His Orchestra 1933: Did You Ever See a Dream Walking? — Bing Crosby 1934: Down South Camp Meetin' — Fletcher Henderson & His Orchestra 1935: Cheek to Cheek — Fred Astaire 1936: Pennies From Heaven — Billie Holiday,Teddy Wilson & His Orchestra 1937: Sing, Sing, Sing — Benny Goodman & His Orchestra 1938: Begin The Beguine — Artie Shaw 1939: Back In The Saddle Again — Gene Autry 1940: In the Mood — Glenn Miller Orchestra 1941: The Wang Wang Blues — The Benny Goodman Sextet 1942: Jingle Jangle Jingle — Kay Kyser Orchestra 1943: Paper Doll — The Mills Brothers 1944: Sentimental Journey — Doris Day, Les Brown & His Orchestra 1945: It's Been a Long, Long Time — Harry James & His Orchestra 1946: To Each His Own — The Ink Spots 1947: Sioux City Sue — Bing Crosby 1948: Blue Shadows on the Trail — Roy Rogers & The Sons Of The Pioneers 1949: I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry — Hank Williams 1950: Riders In The Sky (A Cowboy Legend) — Vaughn Monroe 1951: How High The Moon — Les Paul & Mary Ford 1952: Unforgettable — Nat King Cole 1953: I've Got You Under My Skin — Frank Sinatra
DISK TWO 1954: Mr Sandman — The Chordettes 1955: Rock Around The Clock — Bill Haley &The Comets 1956: Why Do Fools Fall In Love — Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers 1957: Don't Be Cruel — Elvis Presley 1958: Tequila — The Champs 1959: What'd I Say — Ray Charles 1960: Finger Poppin' Time — Hank Ballard & The Midnighters 1961: The Lion Sleeps Tonight — The Tokens 1962: Our Day Will Come — Ruby And The Romantics 1963: Mexican Shuffle — Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass 1964: I Feel Fine — The Beatles 1965: It's Not Unusual — Tom Jones 1966: Good Vibrations — The Beach Boys 1967: Ain't No Mountain High Enough — Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell 1968: Mrs. Robinson — Simon & Garfunkel 1969: My Cherie Amour — Stevie Wonder 1970: ABC — The Jackson 5 1971: Ain't No Sunshine — Bill Withers 1972: American Pie — Don McLean
DISK THREE 1973: Reelin' In The Years — Steely Dan 1974: Cat's In The Cradle — Harry Chapin 1975: Desperado — The Eagles 1976: Sing A Song — Earth Wind & Fire 1977: Easy — The Commodores 1978: Just The Way You Are — Billy Joel 1979: Sultans of Swing — Dire Straits 1980: Call Me — Blondie 1981: Start Me Up — The Rolling Stones 1982: Maneater — Daryl Hall & John Oates 1983: Billie Jean — Michael Jackson 1984: Jump (For My Love) — The Pointer Sisters 1985: Walking On Sunshine — Katrina and The Waves 1986: Walk Like An Egyptian — The Bangles 1987: La Bamba — Los Lobos 1988: Candle In The Wind — Elton John 1989: If You Don't Know Me By Now — Simply Red
DISK F0UR 1990: Vogue — Madonna 1991: Wicked Game — Chris Isaak 1992: Things That Make You Go Hmmmm.... — C+C Music Factory 1993: What Is Love — Haddaway 1994: All I Wanna Do — Sheryl Crow 1995: Love Sneakin' Up On You — Bonnie Raitt 1996: Blue — LeAnn Rimes 1997: Semi-Charmed Life — Third Eye Blind 1998: Jump Jive An' Wail — The Brian Setzer Orchestra 1999: Can't Get Enough of You Baby — Smash Mouth 2000: Smooth — Santana 2001: My Heart Will Go On — Celine Dion 2002: Where Is the Love? — Black Eyed Peas & Justin Timberlake 2003: Don't Know Why — Norah Jones 2004: Heaven — Los Lonely Boys 2005: Rollin' And Tumblin' — Bob Dylan 2006: Lullaby — Dixie Chicks 2007: What A Wonderful World — Louis Armstrong