Wednesday, August 24, 2005

My Precious Son

Happy Birthday to my precious son. When he was small I had a dream that we had won the lottery. I woke up, shook D and said "I had a dream that we won the lottery, it was so real". He said: "We did win the lottery, we have Matt". How true that is. He is the reason I desperately want the world to be a better place, that people respect each others' religious beliefs and culture, that the ozone is fixed, that no child goes hungry at night, that no child has to live without the loving touch from a parent. The reason I give to St. Jude's Children's Hospital, because I felt so blessed to have a healthy child, the reason I cry when I see special reports on kids in Africa living in hell. The reason I donate to environmental groups, to save this incredible world for generations to follow. He is my touchstone, my reason for living, that I did not know I needed when I was 36. When I thought my life was full and exciting, but I did not have a clue how meaningless my life was until he was in it. I cried for 9 months of pregnancy thinking I would be the worst mom. I had never thought of being a mother, never given it any thought. Then I was. We named him 'Matthew' - 'gift from God'. An unexpected gift to two individuals who thought parenthood has passed them by. And speaking of 'Parenthood', the movie should be mandatory for all expectant parents. D and I watched it several times during preganancy. So now, when all three phones are in Matt's room, his bedroom floor is cluttered door to wall of clothes, stuff, candy wrappers. When we have a house full of stomping, laughing, snorting, farting teenage boys, I do remember how lucky we are.

Happy Birthday

15 comments:

Linda said...

what a lovely tribute to the life of your son... he's lucky to have you as his Mom, and your husband too, of course.

kelly said...

birthday blessing to matt
and mom and dad too. we almost
had a matthew too, but he became
gabriel michael instead. named after two of the archangels.
thank you for the lovely words.
gabe had his friend dakota over
last nite. and i was thinking the
same thing as i listened to the
laughter and watched their silly
dancing. they are both 14 and growing up.

Amy said...

Happy Birthday to Matt and Happy Matt's Birthday to Mom (and Dad too)!

Giao said...

Aww, that is such a sweet post. Happy Birthday to your sweet boy! I fully realize the miracle of creating little people after the episode this spring of not quite getting it right. You're all so blessed!

jenny vorwaller said...

happy happy birthday! :D the cake looks delish!

Elaine said...

Happy Birthday to Matt! Kim, you have captured so many of my feelings in this post, it's uncanny. After 4 years, I still have doubts about my "momness," but I try very hard each day. Maybe when he's grown, I'll be able to look back and fondly remember these times. And I love Parenthood, even before I became one, but I gotta say, I understood it better after.

Linda said...

yes, that cake does look delish and leave it to you to have coordinating candles and plate... :-)

Kristen said...

Kim, your words are so touching. I really am encouraged that you had him at 36, as I am entering my thirties and am not sure when or if we'll have kids.

I'm sending this post to my mom, who I know'll laugh and identify with the "teenage boy" stuff from my brother, and I'm also sending this to my best friend who is expecting her first in February...your words to parents-to-be are priceless.

shash said...

making me cry here. a lovely post. happy bday to you (both).

Kim Carney said...

Thank you for all the Happy Returns! I wonder if you ever feel like you did an adequate job as a parent. Although, I have many friends that are very confident mothers, seem to know just what to do, when to do it, how to say it...oh, well, it is all an adventure anyway!

phlegmfatale said...

You were certainly kind and nurturing to me when I was just an ungrounded young pup! You're my idol.

Kim Carney said...

Rita - You only love me 'cause I let you watch my VCR horizontal on my sofa!

Kim Carney said...

You were never an ungrounded pup!

paula said...

That was a lovely and moving post, Kim. You nailed it in regards to letting us know how precious your son/family is to you. Tears!

Happy belated birthday to you, Matt! You're blessed to have your parents, kiddo!

Liquid Sky Arts said...

This post is so touching. I'm so glad that you have such a wonderful son in your life!

....& I think he is very lucky too, to have some of the coolest parents around. :)