10.02.2022

My husband passed away tonight at 6:29 p.m. 

I sent everyone home so I could have some quiet time to absorb what just happened in our backyard. The kids had come over for a family day. Matt and David were in the back, Matt was planting our new Variegated Weigela and David was sweeping leaves from underneath the bushes. And the next thing I heard was "call 911" and Matt was doing CPR on David.

All the police and firefighters were having a big dinner down the street and here in a matter of minutes. About 10 of them worked on him for over 40 minutes. We must have had 10 flashing vehicles in the street. The neighbors all gathered in the street and I went out to give them what report I could. Mason and Noah were crying. Matt was a rock. Bri was a rock. I was in shock, still am. Didn't really have much to say. 

The Chaplin came. We filled out the ME report. I called a funeral home for a pick-up. Mason and Noah had a great conversation with the Chaplin. The Chaplin kept commending me for having such a strong, great family. I called David's work. I called David's sister, who in turn called his brother. 

I sent Matt home who was obviously in shock and in need of his family.

And now here alone I sit. I unloaded the dishwasher. David hated it when I put thing away that were slightly wet. He spoiled me rotten. He did the laundry, he did the trash take-out, he did the mowing (although I use to do the mowing but he said I didn't do it right). He did the cooking. When I said, what do you think we need to eat for dinner, he magically came up with something.

I honestly don't know why I am blogging this horrible news except this is where I put all of my thoughts, good, bad, sad. I really don't know what to do except put it out there in the universe to make it real.

 I honestly don't know what Pixie it going to do. He was her everything. He was my everything.  

He was the smartest guy I ever knew. He was the most balanced and fair person I ever knew. He loved sports with a passion. He loved stats and baseball and football, the Mariners. He loved the grand kids with all of his might and cooked breakfast with them, taught them how to cook every weekend. When the kids told me they were pregnant. I said, now go tell your Dad. He said, "it will all work out" and never batted an eye. He always had faith. He loved family, he loved his son. We met so late in life and got pregnant and moved on with our lives and made it all happen in a great neighborhood in Edmonds, WA.

He was the one I counted on to edit my writing. He was was the one I counted on to art direct my illustrations. He taught me all about remodeling a house, painting a room, building something, sanding something. If I said, I want to make these things called Brantlers, he ran out and bought me all the equipment I needed to build them pushed me out into the garage.

So he laid dead in the grass he just planted and loved and would mow in the dark. In the neighborhood he loved, where his son would build contraptions to ride his skateboard on. Where we went to the city council meetings to defend the rights of kids building such contraptions on their streets.  

He has had heart problems for such a long time. He had a quadruple bypass heart surgery back in the early 90's. I remember breaking down way back then in the hospital and saying to myself, get a grip Kim, you have a young son and you have to keep it together. So there has always been a threat to our lives. But he was such a fighter, a survivor, it is still a shock.

But here I am.