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Friends are commenting how strong I seem, what a great attitude I have with the kids. Honestly, I just hear David's voice in my head saying "It is all going to be okay". This was his "go-to" response when I was having a meltdown.
9 years ago, when Matt and Bri ushered me down to the back of the basement saying we have to talk, I thought what in the world is going on. After some uhhhhing and ahhhing ... it came out that they were pregnant. Bri was terrified to tell me, well, I guess Matt was too. So I was in shock. Not sure what about their future, them going to school, where are they going to live?
I said, now YOU go tell your dad. Honestly, I was afraid he would have a heart attack. He was so determined for Matt to go to college that I did not know how he would take the news. They told him and then David and I huddled. I am sure I was teary-eyed, shaking in out of apprehension. David gave me a big hug and said ... This will all be fine, we will all be fine, we will make it work.
And I guess that made it all okay, because we all calmly moved onto to the future. Of living together, having a baby shower, Bri got a grant and began and finished stylist school, we were all in the hospital room during Mason's birth. And when I saw her, it took my breath away and all my fears for the future disappeared.
So, move forward to years and years mental abuse at msbnc.com. They wanted me gone and made me feel every second of that. When I finally left, I was a complete mess and again David would just repeat "It is really going to be okay". Some how, it was.
So now, when I feel an anxiety attack coming on, or a crying jag about the transpire ... those words pop into my head. I know David would not want me to fall apart. I know he does not want the kids to be so sad they can't function. He and I were not overly emotional about most things. We just kind of took it a step at a time. I guess we learned this along our path.
David's favorite people at his favorite sport.
1 comment:
Love. U and all these posts.
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