Does It Fit?

Why is it so hard to get rid of your stuff? I am packing up my winter clothes into plastic boxes and unpacking linens and cottens for summer from another plastic box. Some of the winter wear, I never even wore. Example: a polar fleece sweat suit that I once wore daily (even slept in a few times) in previous winters (pre-menopause) that make me gagged just to look at it. I literally get hot-flashes just seeing it on the shelf. But this is the stupid shit I think when I look gaze upon and think about it belonging to my wardrobe: "what if the winters get so bad in the future, so cold, we will have not heat and I would kill to have that hot, grey, triple-ply polar fleece pant suit?" (I also buy every wool blanket I see at the thrift store with just that thought in mind). This is the sick stuff that goes through my head.

I relinquished all of my Jones New York trousers a few years after M's birth. Realistically, I knew I would never be a size 10 again. And the shoes, I gave away all of my size 7's in exchange for size 9 Dexter slip-ons and plastic gardening shoes. I have to admit, I kept my favorite pair of trousers. A brown, houndstooth patterned, trousers with pockets and just the perfect wide leg -- they remind me of something Katharine Hepburn would have worn in her hey-day. They are stashed away in a box under the stairs, sharing a living space with 10 spiders, along with some of D's favorite jackets. They were the perfect pair of trousers. I felt like a million dollars when I wore them. I had the perfect shirt to match. And I wanted noone else to own them sans me.

I have T-shirts from when 20 years ago. I tell myself they are treasures from the past, keepers, reminders of where I have been, where I worked, who I was. But I never wear them. I have ski boots and ski clothes and if I don't lose weight and get my knees back, I will never ski again. So why does that stuff take up most of my closet?

I also have problems with trashing stuff off my computer. Throwing away magazines. Giving away anything that might have a longer shelf-life. But my clothes dilemma is really starting me to think. I must get rid of my treasures. The standard question "Have you worn it in the last year?" I asked myself that every year while I am packing and repacking. Go figure.