The weight of being

I am so mad at myself for letting yet another cucumber die in the veggie bin, along with some bell peppers. While I am waiting for my new debit card, I have no cash to go the store so I am really trying to just eat the food I have here, which is plenty. I made a trip to the freezer in the garage, brought out some hamburger and a whole chicken I had bought (.99lb - back in the good ole days) for the dogs. Boiled the chicken. Salvaged what bell peppers and the onions that were not sprouting and made some spaghetti sauce. I don't want to brag, but I finally made something that tasted good! 

Yesterday I was reminded of the poverty days of college when I would put $2 worth of gas in my car to get to work. I am counting my cash and calculating how much gas I can put in the tank. I am hoping the new debit card shows up today or I am going to need to go back to the bank. And I will be tempted to take a out a huge sum of money in response to the banking bad news. Mason wanted to see where I live in Scotland and I actually found a photo of the house. Called Claverhouse in Dundee, Scotland. I read about the history. It was such a lovely place with a conservatory on the left. The large front lawn would be completely full of daffodils in the spring. And it had the largest Rodies (purple) I have ever seen. More like trees. I wish we had taken photos of some of the rooms. I never thought about it.

Friends and family called this morning to remind me it is my birthday. I had honestly forgotten this day was rolling around again. I never thought about being 60, or 64 or even 67 ... which I am today. I think I was so engrossed in work and life in my 50's that I didn't realize how fast it was all sneaking up on me. My friend can't understand why I don't want a big celebration but honestly, even before I hit my 60's I was never a big birthday celebration kind of girl. I will take Mason's advice ...

The girls spent Friday night with me and it was great having them here, laughing and talking. And when they left on Saturday, the house felt even more empty than ever.  Mason found my Estate Planning folder and asked me about it. After I explained what it was ... when she realized she might be getting this house in the future, she started telling me about the changes she would make. It was hysterical and fun. She has a lot of plans for the kitchen LOL. Today, Monday, is the day I collect them from school so I will get a little dose of love today.

Toni Hamel  and her Instagram.