Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Working-mom guilt

Listening to this segment on Today Show - 6 tips to avoid working-mom guilt, struck a cord with me. I worked all my son's life, weird hours, nights, weekends. I did manage to work 4-10 hour days for years, which allowed me to volunteer at school, work the concession stand at little league, help out with band auctions. Probably because I grew up in daycare while my single-mom worked to keep food on the table ... I did not want my son to endure after-school-daycare and miss out on spending lazy afternoons in his own house, playing with neighbor kids, watching cartoons, building forts, having fun, whatever ... but in his own home. Of course, my own mom stepped in to help with that aspect of his life and he did enjoy life after-school at home.

So I think it is ironic that after all that sacrifice, now that is is time to help him with college, I am unable to do so. Or that all of those years working ... feeling the quilt ... missing out of so many little things, now he is reaching adulthood ... I find myself unemployed. The career I worked so hard to have, gave up so much to stay with while raising my son has now vanished. I ask myself, were those working years away from him worth it? If I had it to do all over, I think I would do it differently.

7 comments:

Maxinetoo said...

xoxo

Maxinetoo said...

P.S. You have a great kid; you must have done something right!

Kim Carney said...

Thank you dear friend xoxo

katenelson said...

You made the best decision you could at the time. Try not to look back (I know, it's hard) and enjoy (as much as you can) the time you have now. You're a great mom, a great woman, a great friend.

Kim Carney said...

Point taken SIL xoxo
Good advice!! Love you

Amy said...

speaking as a child whose parents really couldn't help me all that much with college expenses, i can honestly say that all the years of hard work they put into making me the person i have become were FAR more valuable to me than any tuition or rent or food they ever helped me with in college.

i am positive this is the same case with your son. he's going to do great things because you did your best for him when he was growing up!

xo

Kim Carney said...

you are right, Amy. He will be good. He has really stepped up. Loves his job. Is a little bit of a workaholic (wonder where he got that from?). And thankfully, he can remain on our insurance without being in school right now. xoxo