So, today I was so grateful for two comments I received. One was anonymous: "Wow, my students love your pictures; it makes them ask science questions".
and the first from Vicci brought me to tears: "Kim....I have just finished reading everything on the blog!!! All I can say is...It is always a PLEASURE to come visit you! You are an AMAZING woman!
and I want one of those garden beds!"
So driving to work today, in tears of joy from comments on my most-beloved blog and dread of another workday feeling like I am a complete failure. I did feel uplifted. Renewed. Sometimes I feel so full of ideas and growth. With my camera, I feel like a child seeing parts of the world for the first time, in awe of nature and the depths of nature, the patterns of nature. Sometimes I feel so full of crafty art ideas that I am afraid that I will burst open. Sometimes I feel so inspired, so excited that I can't wait to get home, run to the studio to experiment and make a big, juicy mess. But lately, I have just had that empty, "I-am-not-sure-what-I-am-doing" gut-wrenching-feeling. I beat myself up with negative thoughts about how my ideas are not that great, what was I thinking? I know not all of my ideas are stellar, but it is the spark of the idea that is the important part for me. I hate the feeling of it all being extinguished under one big negative black cloud.
I stray from my thought ... so today, for the first time in sometime, I felt a little of my confidence peeking back into my soul. A little hope that all is not lost. That from time to time I can entertain myself with an idea that makes me giggle and high-on-life, even if for a day. That I have created some stuff that I love. And maybe I will not be the perfect css coder or flash guru, but at least, I am trying.
I want to say, Thank You! for all of your wonderful comments you leave on this blog. Although, lately, I have had little time to answer back, I am so appreciative of them (and the fact that you read my blog at all). I am grateful of how inspirational all of you are for me! Of the big-hearted blogging community in general. And today -- for blooming daffodils, hyacinth, camilla and cherry blossoms!
4 comments:
it's been a long winter Kim and you're not alone in feeling this way. It's amazing how a sunny daffodil or an appreciative comment...such simple things really...bring the joy back when it's needed most. You're such a creative soul and it's a joy for me to tap into that creativity via your blog!
I teach a beginning class in product design. Last night I was giving a long weekend assignment. When I got to the "And if you get stuck.." part, I started to say, ".. call me". And then I stopped myself. I told my class that, honestly, designers have to almost be creative on demand. It's difficult sometimes. When you do creative work for work ... and find yourself doubting or stuck, we all need to find our own ways of renourishing the creative spirit and finding joy in what may seem like drudgery to keep doing what we need to.
Your blog is filled with wonderful snippets of the beauty of everyday life, beautiful images. An eye that can truly see and appreciate these things to know to capture them can only be connected to a heart and spirit that are deeply artistic. You inspire and delight me with the images and projects and wanderings. It *has* seemed like a long winter (ever in SoCal), but spring is on its way, sure enough...
"But lately, I have just had that empty,"I-am-not-sure-what-I-am-doing" gut-wrenching-feeling. I beat myself up with negative thoughts about how my ideas are not that great, what was I thinking? I know not all of my ideas are stellar, but it is the spark of the idea that is the important part for me. I hate the feeling of it all being extinguished under one big negative black cloud."
Kim... I was amazed and comforted at the same time (knowing I am not alone) to read this from you. I am in the same "emotional" trama right now and cannot put my finger on "Why?" I have checked what the constelations are doing and there is nothing to blame my "frump" on.
I am trying my best to Smile and move through the motions of my day, yet... There is no "spark." (Sigh...)
Off to drag my feet through more sludge in hopes of tripping over the answer(s).
Enjoy Life Today!
Libra Moon
Yikes. I think that feeling is in the air. I have been in the same kind of self-doubting slump. Maybe it is the long winter and the NW grayness. And I come to your blog for inspiration and light and something beautiful to contemplate. The Gratitude flows in both directions.
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