This little rant has been brewing in my head for sometime.
In an effort to see “what was out there” when my girlfriends tell me they were meeting someone from Match.com (or others), I searched 100’s of profiles (I mean 100’s) and only landed on a few that I thought were even remotely good enough “catches” for my friends. The usual responses from these bare-chested, motor-cycled riding macho men were “I am looking for someone younger, in fit shape, someone to drink wine with on a sunlit beach, hold hands as we walk into the sunset". Excuse me pal, YOU are 55+! Yuck. Would a 30-40 year old women really be interested in YOU? Here are my basic beef with the beef cakes I have spotted in the 50-60-year-old range – HIMSELF on a motorcycle, climbing a mountain, shirtless (undoubtedly so we can be completely turned on by his body), with his big furry pet, with another woman, on his sailboat … you get where I am goin' here. Oh, Please. I went home and told D that if these guys really want to attract a woman and look sexy they should photograph themselves cleaning a toilet, loading a dishwasher or folding some clothes. Now, THAT would get the responses pouring in. I heard Dr. Phil telling me this morning on a radio ad that the perfect match was on Match.com and HE could help me find him/her. Really?, can my friends call you at home to discuss this hyped-up ad campaign for match.com? False advertising.
I signed my mom up with one of those dating services years ago, unbeknownst to her. A few inquiries came in and she met up with a few. Most of them had never read a book and did not know how to use the spell check feature in their Outlook. The rest were sexual perverts (and had still never read a book), mom said “no thanks” to both. I have had a few close encounters of the personal-ad-kind when I was single. Every time, I could not get away from that person fast enough to get home and shower the ‘eeewwww’ off. One guy told me on the phone that if I did not look like Heather Locklear not to bother, and I didn’t. I think he said he wanted a "show piece", "show pony"? Fortunately, I can't remember any details from the rest, probably some psychological feature of the brain to help remove unpleasant blind-dates from the memory bank.
My wonderful friends get nothing but grief or the silent treatment from men from these sites. Men they don’t know them, that have no right to give anyone grief about weight, height, being a single mom, when was the last time they had sex, how much sex do they like to have. Yes, this is the kind of scrutiny going on when you "wink" at someone that interest you, or email someone. I look at my wonderful, capable, self-supporting, artistic, loving, beautiful friends and think, there is not an asshole on any dating service that is worthy of you!
So I asked the single mature men friends at work what their dating requirements are and most of them said they wanted to date someone 10-15 years younger than themselves, and one is dating a very young woman. So my question is -- does that mean the 60-70 year-old-men want to date someone younger, and that is where the 50-year-old-women find their matches? Oh, the dating world seems very confusing and depressing and I fear that I would not bother with it at all.
A post script, my wittiest friend has been dating steadily from personal ads for over a year, some not-so-stable, some very stable. I begged her to write a story about her experiences and what he had learned in the process. The other day at our luncheon she announced that she ran off and married and was very happy. The End
Fantin-Latour's Modern Flowers
11 hours ago