Gaslighting

I had a very bad relationship in my early 30's and it reminded me of the gaslighting in Dirty John and Betty Broderick, it brought back some very bad memories of a relationship I hated myself for, and I hated him for gaslighting me that he was dumping for his secretary. He denied it even when I found her clothes in my closet. Yes, I stalked him to see what he was doing behind my back. BTW, they got married. And yes, he told everyone that I was the crazy one!

And then next popped up Dirty John, which should be a true nightmare for anyone dating these days. It made me sick to my stomach. 

Some men divorcing their wives really f*ck them over. I have seen it again and again. I begged my best friend (who is a psychologist), whose husband dumped her for one of her best friend, to write a book about men gaslighting their wives, leaving them with houses in need of repair, kids and kid's tuition, health insurance, kid's cars. "You're crazy" and told all of YOUR friends how crazy you are. And in the in the end, after their dad who has brainwashed them, completely take the (poor dad's side) of the story.

I have been there in many relationships. Damaged woman would love it, that have been there and can not get over how stupid they feel for being sucked in. I still wish she would write the book, for women out there that have been put through hell, need reassurance that they are not crazy.

Gaslighting Behaviors Denying that he or she said something, even when you have proof Mismatching actions and words Projection (accusing you of what they’re doing) Telling blatant lies Telling people – or you – that you’re “crazy” Telling you everyone else is a liar Trying to convince you that others don’t care about you, or that you can’t trust others Using your personal characteristics to tear you down Wearing you down over time

"During a divorce, these behaviors can even extend to family, friends and coworkers – meaning that the gaslighter will contact these people and provide them with false information about you. The idea is to turn other people against you when it comes to your divorce and possible custody battles. Sometimes, the gaslighter even tries to use the legal system to his or her advantage by filing false police reports against you or trying to make you appear as if you’re mentally unstable by pushing your buttons repeatedly. This commonly happens in custody cases where one parent wants to push the narrative that you’re the “unstable” parent, and that the kids are better off without you. He or she may try to alienate your children from you. In cases like these, the gaslighting spouse knows better, but he or she is out to hurt you. If you are (or were) married to a narcissist, then you may be familiar with the term, “gaslighting.” It is the narcissist’s masterful manipulation technique to gain control over you. As your relationship begins to weaken, he carefully causes you slight anxiety or confusion. But as the relationship worsens, he punitively devalues you, and you thereby question your mental sanity. Extreme or long term gaslighting can ultimately lead you to having a distorted sense of reality – not knowing who is right or wrong, feeling guilty for being the person you are, and losing any remaining self-confidence. Gaslighting is an extremely dangerous form of emotional abuse, as it causes the narcissist’s victim to question her judgment, on even the smallest issues, thereby making her dependent of him. If, for example, she is repeatedly told that she is bad with money, she will begin to believe it, and think that without her narcissist by her side, she will be financially ruined."