'Twas a good couple of days. Cleaning a very dirty family room and computer work area -- Q-tips and alcohol on keyboards! We have so many dirty little fingers on these keyboards that sometimes I don't even want to touch them. Plus M, myself and his friends eat and drink over the keyboard. A no no, but I do it so much at work that now I can mouse and eat with not problemo.
Some much needed gardening. The morning glories have taken over, the barberry are out of control. I once had many dreams for my backyard ... and my dream now pared down to just keeping the weeds in check and the dog poop scooped up. So low have my aspirations dropped. Listened to all the grandkids next door playing on the "fort" that I gave my neighbors years ago when M out grew it. While we were rebuilding the fence, 6 or 7 of us picked it up and moved it over. We wanted to get the eyesore out of our backyard ... a huge, unused fort taking up a quarter of the yard ... and now I get to look at it in my neighbors yard. That has been 7 or 8 years now. It might have been more prudent if I had just dismantled it and took it off far far away ... sometimes being nice it is not the wisest idea. When I go to my yard seeking solitude and quiet, the kids are in the two story fort yelling over the fence "Hey, Kim" .... and telling me their stories. Not that I mind visiting with them but sometimes, just sometimes, with my morning cup coffee while in my pajamas or with my glass of wine while in my pajamas or in my bathing suit (when I definitely want no one to see me, I don't care how old they are) it would be nice to know I am guaranteed privacy in my backyard. We have planted many trees, grapes, climbing hydrangeas ... trying to insure our little plot of land is private ... but there is that one area where the fort is located. Anyhoo, I had a nice visit with one of the grandkids ... trimmed ... listen to them giggle and make s'mores ... sat down a minute to watch clouds float by and crows go to roost. Flipped through second-hand magazines from mom's friend. Thought about the car I put a down-payment on today for Matt. That is such a big step but we found a great car at a great price ... so here we enter into a new phase of parenthood. Falling down and scratched knees or hurt feelings seems so distant and so trivial vs. driving and driver's license and all the hazzard with that area.
I realized today, as if I didn't all ready know this, how mentally tired I am. Focusing on one thing is such a chore for me right now. I feel like I have a zillion things floating around in my brain -- as annoying as those three flies that make their way into the house, fly in a circle in one spot. I wish I had a better way focusing and accomplishing one thing and moving on instead of so much multi-tasking. I am (was) such a great multi-tasker, but I think it has gotten the best of me. ;)
How to Deal with Disappointment
4 hours ago