This is my horoscope for the week. Well, money is my focus right now but more holding onto it rather than spending in my current unemployment status. But I found this interesting because last night I was cleaning out my newspaper portfolios and decided to throw most of my old work in the trash. I looked around my studio and thought, I need to decide what I really want to do in terms of art. Focus on one or two things instead of too many. It was sobering to sit and think about that. Scary because I love to do it all but I feel like my feet are in concrete right now and I can't move forward.
Graphic design might not be my future. Web design? If so, I would need to go back to school in order to get hired, color my hair again and call myself "40". Maybe return to painting? Clean up my garage of the assemblage mess and give that up? Go ahead with the Brantlers, plexy sculptures and rings? I have lots to think about but I do feel that I am moving in the right direction in questioning how I want to fill my hours and days. I was talking to a friend the other night about why we love the small Texas town of San Angelo. I concluded it reminds us of when were young, learning, the future was full of promise. I want to feel like that now.
Today I turn 55. It is the year to find out what I want to do with the rest of my life. My heart is breaking for Japan and it doesn't feel like a day to celebrate anything. This year so far, has been the year of non-celebration. We decided to have an all-inclusive birthday party in the summer when the rain has subsided. Dig out the lanterns, decorate the backyard, make one cake for all of us. We all liked that idea.
Mom just read my horoscope from the paper. It says, "your head is full of danger, you need to go outside and get some fresh air". ;0