Take your thoughts and prayers and shove it

Another school shooting and more f*cking "thoughts and prayers". Bri and I had just watched a documentary on that scumbag alex jones and his dealings and subsequent lawsuit by the parents he harassed. What a piece of shit he is! AND he is still has not payed up. 

So we had our cry over that documentary then a couple of days later Bri comes in with tears in her eyes to inform me about the 'next' school shooting. I get soooo sick of the the cult talking about how it's the trans, or the people, or the libs or or or ... but never the f*cking automatic weapons. Sick ... is not even the description. Enraged it closer to it. 

And it brought to mind a conversation I use to have with my step mother and father over the phone, many times. When talking about guns and I am sure I would start raging about guns and then they would go off about their right to own guns, and how if they give up 'that' right it is only time until the government would be knocking at your door to 'take over'. And then what would I do if someone broke into my house and how would I defend myself. I am telling you ... I had this conversation ALL the time with them.

My response was:

I don't own a gun.  I don't want a gun in my house. I hardly ever lock my door (back then, years ago) and I have never been afraid of someone coming to my neighborhood to 'take over'. That I did not see evil or threats at every corner of my life.

And my ending argument would be: I don't know what kind of scary world they lived in there in your little Texas community (I knew it was very safe) but I just felt sorry for them for living in such fear and hate.

And I still feel like that today. To live in that kind of fear of 'others' that you feel the need to walk around with a pistol strapped to your thigh, or tucked into your purse or an automatic weapon looped over your shoulder must be a real hell-scape in your head. 

But this is where we are in this f*cked up world. Earth One and Earth Two.

And honestly, the more these crazies talk about a civil war I think, maybe I should purchase a fire arm. But is that really a world I want to live in? Like some post apocalyptic movie where people are holed up in a house with their weapons trying to survive? 

I was reading somewhere about the US splitting up into different countries. I am just hoping the WA state becomes part of Canada. 

Please note: Trump was not included LOL 

 

Kentucky, on Appalachia’s remote border with West Virginia to look into its water problem. Instead, we ended up deep in a holler, miles from any store, hospital, or business. There, we asked locals about jobs, drugs, and life in the holler. 

This was a hard documentary to watch but these are real Americans, trump supporters,  THIS IS TRUMP COUNTRY. Unemployed, living on disability ... thinking that trump's policies are NOT going to affect them? Probably most are alcoholics. It is insane. 

One guy actually said took his three grandchildren to school one day and all came back gay. Yes, he said that. I don't think these people are stupid, I just think they are delusional, ill-informed, drug-addled. 

 

Well, I was going to add some art but I am thinking this post doesn't deserve anything pretty.  

Eploring another world

David and I would dream about moving to the Cotswold or Wales. Especially after watching Escape to the Country.  

The Cotswolds covers a huge area – almost 800 square miles – and runs through five counties (Gloucestershire, Oxfordshire, Warwickshire, Wiltshire and Worcestershire). One of the delights of visiting the Cotswolds is exploring the different areas, each with its own identity, yet all with those defining Cotswold features: golden stone and rolling hills, the ‘wolds’. 

Well, one can dream, can't one? There are lots of videos on Exploring the Cotwolds.  

 

 

 

 

Popping out for dinner

We had a lovely Mexican dinner out for Matt's birthday. I had TWO margaritas! They filled me up more than anything. And a Pablano enchilada with Mole sauce (love). Edmonds is sooooo busy these days. It is completely full of people eating, mulling around. I never thought I would see such an explosion of people here but finding a parking place on any given day or hour is impossible. The restaurant was across the street from a beach entrance and we had a lovely sunset with some assist from a fire going on somewhere in the Olympics.

Going to point out this recipe for Matt to try.'Easiest Ever' Chicken Mole Enchiladas 

I guess Bri woke up with a mouse in bed with her. I am guessing the cat brought one in as a gift. So I was a night of locking the cat up in the bedroom to take the gift back. 

Given how rowdy and obnoxious our girls are when they are fighting, thankfully I hear the next door kids in their yard being loud. It is nice to know we are not the only ones in the neighborhood. 

I just looked up our population in Edmonds and shockingly it has not grown in four years which means all those people are just popping in here for dinner or what-not. 

Peaches and dream

Remember when mom made me the half of peach, heated slightly in a skillet, with gargonzola cheese, drizzle of honey, sprinkled with granola? I do. I wish she was here to do that again. ❤️

Getting stitched up

It is my Matt's birthday today. 34! We are going out to dinner tonight. Bri and kids made a trip to Costco for dog food and $400 worth other stuff that I am sure we needed. We are having an exceptionally hot week this week. Between 4PM an 8pm I close all the blinds and turn on a fan. I wear my men's jockey underwear as shorts that I bought on one of Robin and mine trips searching for basketball hoops. And I tough out the heatwave. I must admit, the sun feels so much hotter and intense than it once did. Standing in it feels like a Texas experience!

I have been having a conversation with my friend a little older and we have decided we just don't like leaving our house anymore! I am perfectly okay to stay home, I am happy at home. I took Mason school shopping two days ago and got stopped by the police. I couldn’t figure out why except I was singing along to Nelly’s country grammar really loud. Anyway, he said I didn’t have my seat belt on and I said, I can’t drive anywhere without it buzzing, so yes I did. But it was under my arm because it chokes me. But you know I haven’t been stopped in about 25 years so I don’t mind getting a ticket, especially since I hardly leave my house. I think he sensed my apathy and said, have a nice day. Mason was a little shook up, but I told her everyone gets stopped eventually. The city has to make money some how. And it was all good.

So today I was looking over my website renewal thinking… you are not working, why do you need to keep it online? But sometimes, I like to go look at what I used to do all day and it makes me happy. A waste of money? Maybe not

Jesus, talking about a waste, have you seen the latest video of Qzempicized Paula Deen? She is looking even scarier than me!

Speaking of ...  with JoAnn Fabric shutting their doors ... where do we get fabric now? We used to have many wonderful fabric stores in Seattle. It is scary to think that you can't just go to a store to purchase some, somewhere? I was lamenting with Mason about this yesterday. 

And speaking of a shortage ... I am glad I still have my piggy bank full of found lucky pennies. They will become a collectible very soon.

I ran across this video the other day. I loved Jackson Hole, Robin and I visited many times. But has become the billionaire's third home destination spot. Believe me, I met many designers there catering to the rich decorating their homes while having conversation with the locals that can't afford to live there anymore. I found it very interesting (and depressing).

   

I am getting such a kick out of fox having a emotional breakdown over Gavin's holding a mirror up to trump's ridiculous online activity. I have had soooo many belly laughs the last week, thank you Gain, I really needed that. Here are the latest.

 

Thank you for your attention to this matter. KRC 

And speaking of ridiculous ... this story about prager u is taking PBS's place is upsetting. I mean how much more f*cking stupid can this country become? And how many times a day can one actually scream W T F at the television???

 

Aimee Hagedorn is making people happy with her stitches. So adorable. Makes me want to grab a needle, some embroidery thread, and old fabric. 

 

The eye of the beholder

I absolutely adore these!

Interesting art with minimal effort

Michael Lee is an artist whose paintings have been featured in solo and group exhibitions nationally. He describes his distinctive abstract and minimalist works as revolving around mysticism, writing, and signs. Michael creates in an intuitive manner, allowing his subconscious to guide him. He most often employs mixed techniques with acrylics, oils, pigments, spray paint, chalk, charcoal, and gold leaf on canvas.

A simple thanks

My friend has a blog but unlike mine, which I think is really just documenting my dissatifications, art discoveries, rantings ... hers is poetry with a purpose. We are close but each of us so different when it comes to our blogs. Her post usually make me cry a little.  

How quiet and unquiet morning darkness can be. Almost another world. 

Soft rustles, a humming bug, a swift flash of movement in the canopy, then quiet again. I wonder to myself, how humans have learned to live indoors. 

I have the thought that humans have not had a full meal of connectedness with our real animal flesh since we closed our doors, turned on the lights and AC. 

Of course the stars are hypnotic. I look up and they flood my eyes with remembered and recognized constellations; ones I have memorized like road maps. 

I see an occasional falling star. 

To me just a brief zip of light, but maybe to them a blistering horrid death? I turn from that thought, I breath in the night air and I begin listing everything nice thats going on in my life, the smallest of nice things; 

I say a simple THANKS... 

Out of nowhere, one solitary firefly blinks, moving among the oak leaves above. 

It is alternately blinking and disappearing-only to show up a few feet away. I am surprised by this lone messenger. Usually they are all asleep by dawn.

Our new reality

I hear we have an atmospheric river coming but it is not here today. It is glorious out. We are knee-deep in school shopping and the end of summer soft ball. 

I had not logged into my SS acct lately but yesterday it said it did not recognize my email. I called to make inquiries and apparently they upgraded something on the website and purged accounts. So you have to recreate a profile and account. You might want to check that if you have not logged on in awhile.

Life goes a little too fast. I feel lighter than air today after having after having dumped my worries yesterday on this blog. I love this blog for that, a diary of life's problems and joys and where to store them. 

Have you been keeping up with the wildfires burning down Europe? Greece, Spain, Portugal. I watch in horror as homes, animals and olive groves burn. Between the floods, the fires, our economy about the collapse and our very own Antichrist ... it is a very scary world right now. I swear, trump is trying to bring down this country, destroy it. That can only be the answer of his actions!

This is hysterical. 

This is my new facebook avatar

 

 

Some mosiacs caught my eye the other day. 

 

 

The power of color and worth

I was going to tear up and throw away this silly check but I have decided to keep it as a reminded of what that family thought of my worth instead. Now, mind you, I did not expect one red cent from my paternal father. I have not seen nor spoken with him in many years. I hear he suffered through cancer his last few of years and I was not there to help or be a part of his life, my sister was. 

I don't feel like I ever got much support from him in my lifetime, for instance ... I would go to visit them in Texas but he NEVER, ever visited me once where I lived. He always expected me to come to the mountain.

I don't remember ever going on family vacations with his family. I spent many a Christmas at my grandparents with him there. He never helped me with a school paper, or went to the dentist with me, or any of the stuff dad's do. 

He never paid child support, never. But I did not know that until a couple of years before mom died because she never said or brought it up. My mom said then, he had his own family to take care of. Nevermind, he was always buying airplanes or sport cars to rebuild or guns.

I found out something important while trying to find Susan's father. During a conversation I had with my paternal father I asked him about their divorce. He said he never signed divorce papers and doesn't remember going to court! I said, you had to sign divorce papers to be divorced! 

Then David and I had a sudden thought. We could see 17-year-old Dianne, with a baby in tow, another she had just given up for adoption in this situation she had no money to get out of. I could easily see mom just calling Bobby and saying "We are divorced" and him just saying "okay". So the thought lingered with David and me ... what ... if ... they ... were ... not ... even ... divorced? And my super Christian stepmother was not even legit? I giggled at the thought of what her response would be to that. I have researched their divorce papers in Texas and Arkansas and have yet to find any. So ... I will just leave it at there. (Okay, I know I am just being mean now, but it is fun to think about ... )

I grew up in poor families where we don't think about 'inheritances' or estates so I never thought about it much. To be fair, I didn't get anything of significance from my stepdad except a most treasured belt buckle and of course, his love. I think his 4th wife got whatever he had left except I took her to court for a house he owned in Breckenridge for my brother. (I am just remembering this now). I spent a fortune in lawyer fees trying to get this house for my brother. Not a fancy house but something he could have. We did end up winning but I think he went back to jail for something or another and the taxes owed on that house were more than the house itself and David stepped in and said enough is enough. 

Anyway! The moral of the story is ... don't expect anything. I didn't expect anything from his 'estate' and what I received was my real worth, which is what I felt my entire life. But I have always known my worth! 

I feel fortunate to have a house and a little money to pass on to my kids, not much by a little more than $100. 

PS, they even got my name wrong. From the moment I married David they referred to me as Kim Miller not Kim Carney although I never changed my name to Miller and told them that many times. They hated the idea I changed my name from Harkins to Carney legally when I was 18 and never let me forget it. Silly, petty crap.  

Thank you for your attention to this. 

  

Mark Bowles And his Instagram