That career girl feeling

I am really angry and I am lashing out. The kids have gone to the lake for a couple of days and I am going to enjoy the solitude. I had a moment this morning when I thought ... I don't like my son. He wasn't being nasty but short-tempered and mean. I know it is temporary but it feels weird feel that about your most beloved to child. Just look at him and think 'what an ass'. Anyway, I have some quiet days to settle down. I want to focus on anything except the trump cult, trump and how completely screwed up this country is right now. And you know it will never get better until his cult members realize how corrupt he is, which might not ever happen. That is really where my anger pops up seering RED. 

Anyway driving to my friend's house the other day, I passed through Seattle. Seeing the cityscape sent my brain back to career mode. I got the excitement I would get going to work, being a part of something big, going out to lunch or going shopping at lunch. Window shopping. Feeling like Mary Richards embarking on an exciting day of work. I really miss that feeling. 

I was talking to the kids about all the places I have worked, the cities, the newspapers, and it was all good. Selling high fashion on Knightsbridge in London, pushing perfume at Boot's Pharmacy in Dundee, Scotland. Newsrooms in Dallas, San Francisco, Seattle. Being in on the ground floor of the beginning of MSNBC. Fred Hutch. Even cleaning bedpans at the nursing home during my high school days had some good points. I have been lucky. 

Maybe I am reminiscing because someone called me about a freelance job the other day and I turned it down, with a big thank you of thinking of me. I have not done anything creative in YEARS and I really don't want to take on a job that I probably can not finished. It made me sad but I had to admit I have lost all desire to be creative after my Fred Hutch departure and consequent lackluster job search. It all just took it out of my ego. I mean, my ego was never that expanded anyway so it did not take much. With David here to back me up, made it an easier fall.

I have talked to a friend of mine about putting my graphic art experience to work fighting for our country, in form of T-shirts or posters. I still have business ideas. I wanted to make SLOBBER cloths to sell at our local summer street fair. I mean, we use a SLOBBER cloth all the time. Something that is designated to swipe that long string of drool, slipping out of Murphy's lips, aiming to the carpet. Most of the time, I grab it bare-handed, I know, I know, it's gross. But how many times have you stepped in a huge pool of slobber? I never thought I would live with a drooling dog. But never say never.

 

I still want to do my firefly painting on a panel. With twinkle lights coming through the the canvas. I have had this vision since Robin and I were in Ohio at dusk, watching fireflies rise from the tall grass at dusk. So wonderful, it can make you cry!

I guess my brain is not dead yet! When I peruse my Pinterest ring board, I think of so many things I want to do that I usually can't sleep that night. 

I content myself with binge-watching TV and rage posting, watching our country decline into hell via YouTube news shows, doing dishes, watching the kids, folding clothes. But I am content in what I am presently doing so ...  

Newfly Artificial Coral - Simulation Plastic Coral Branches Ornaments. $14.0. I am just sure I need this!