Help! I have fallen into my TV and can't get out

I don't know what has happened to me the last month, or where I have gone but I don't feel as guilty as I should, I think. Moments I feel guilty for doing NOTHING then I say ... it is fine ... I am healing and adjusting. I just want to document it here so a year from now I can read this in disgust ;) When I am spending days in my art studio ... I can look back and say ... ahhh, that is what is was like to be bored.

I spent the yesterday watching the kids. Mason had the day off from school. We made a quick trip to Target to  buy her something?  The summer break is coming up fast so I will be busier with them. 

I have some great conversations with them. Me: "I love you honey, bunny" (saying goodbye to Matt) Noah: "Why do you love dad so much?" Me: "Because he is my son and I love him with all of my heart" Noah: "He is not your son, he is OUR dad". OK, point taken.

I did start a load of dishes this morning. And need to do some laundry, it is needing it. It is seesawing between rain and sun and I have to a admit, I feel much better when it is sunny. 

I asked the kids mark their calendars to help me clean out some of the rooms filled with their stuff so I can move ahead on cleaning the studio. 

I realized something important the other day. I have not been calling the kids much, especially my son. I am making a real effort to give them their space. They deserve to have time to learn how to be a family without being connected to the hip with his family. We have all been so close and tight for so many years and although it was wonderful for David and me ... not sure it gave Matt much independence to learn and make his own mistakes and have his successes. I still need his help with some projects around here, I am trying not to be impatient. They are so busy with their lives in their new place, working on the yard, softball games, dinners, laundry ... you know, the lives of parents of kids! 

Apart from watching every crappy thing on TV, have been keeping up with some of the trump news. Hysterical. I doubt he will have to even go to trial if he has many more interviews on FOX. 

Pixie is always so proud when she has a poop and always runs to me to show off ... of course, she does not bother going down the stairs to the yard ... the bathroom has become her place of choice. And trust me ... it is not a nice, solid one ... sorry, TMI ... but I find myself gagging and many times throwing up because I have become a wimp on this subject. Just another pleasant aspect of my life these days.

I have many great conversations with old friends from my school days. They call and we talk for hours. It is really nice to catch up. Most of them are still working and I feel so guilty when they are tired from a busy day and I say something like "I am bored". LOL

I watched in awe every corner of this woman's house filled with her collections of "crap" and sooooo identified. I love that she says, when it becomes three of something it becomes a collection.

This could have fallen straight from my lips: "From yellow-tinted trinkets to arty postcards, potted house plants to personal paintings, Alison Lloyd’s Hackney home is overflowing with collectibles. Or, in her words, “I’m a gatherer of crap,” the founder of Ally Capellino smiles, sitting next to a repurposed table she found in a park. “I pick up stuff that I can’t bear the thought of being thrown away.”" 

   

This series on The Modern House called Seven Wonders, asking people about 7 of their favorite things is very interesting.

It made me start thinking of all the things in the house, what would be my 7 favorites things? 

1. My sand collection. Because of where I have been AND all of my friends that have thought of me on their journeys and sent me back a baggie of sand.

2. Little Cowboy and Indian collection all over the house

 

3. Bedside treasures ... a chunk of Pyrite and mom's peacock print that has always hung beside her bed for as long as I can remember, now hangs at my bedside. The Pyrite just reminds me how wonderfully interesting this life on earth is ... to create something like this!

4. The bowls of rocks would have to be included. Rocks from everywhere! Rocks that mom collected in Scotland, that I collected from all over. A discussion I had with my neighbor came to mind. She is nice but a little controlling and uptight. We were talking about keeping stuff and getting rid of things. She told me her BIL picked up random rocks of trips and brought them home ON THE AIRPLANE to his house. Can you imagine?, she said to me. Oh, yes I can, I said.

 5. Totems. The first totem David ever game me was representative of a mother expecting a child ... and it grew from there. I found a totem bottle opener (hanging), a copper totem piggy bank and the smallest totem was my lastest purchase.

 

 

6. Everything in a box. David and I both have a obsession for boxes, old wooden and metal. I love the red metal boxes, one that keeps the collection of mask, the other has.  all the foreign currency I found around the house. The most expensive box I ever bought him was the Indian Chief cigar humidor that contains all kinds of goodies. My friend gave me the round cinnamon box that has acorns in it and I open regularly for a big sniff.  My SIL is also always sending boxes as gifts, she puts small, vintage books in them, like the Covered Wagon cigar box.

 

7. Photos of Matt. Memories. 

Well, I would have to include my chair collection but that goes over the limit.