The life we had

Consider what we had, what we have lost in our lives. Lives full of losses, that is how a normal life will play out.

I saw an older woman asking her husband what he wanted for dinner while leaving the grocery store. I felt a little pang of sadness. Then drove past a man walking his cute Cocker and thought about our most beloved Scooter. I thought I would die the day we lost him. The sudden sadness hit me hard and my eyes started to sting from oncoming tears. The rest of my drive gave me time to think and cry harder if I was going to ...

Life is full of loss. Great-grandparents, favorite aunts and uncles, grandparents, parents, pets, husbands and wives, friends. If you are very unlucky, you lose kids. We move away from our friends and sometimes never see them again, a loss. I know mom would talk about how much she missed her mom and her friends. 

It feels the older we get, the more we expect and accept loss. Thankfully, I feel that my life has been full and filled with love and I am thankful.

I found this by Timna Sheffy ... Is Life Nothing More Than A Series Of Losses?  

"We are told that if we work hard, take care of others, and show kindness and generosity, we will be secure and happy. Do everything right and nothing will go wrong. Oh if only… What is the explanation for tragic and sudden death? What is the explanation for childhood cancer? What is the explanation for natural disasters (I know, climate change) and freak accidents? Why are good people alone and struggling? Why are some children born into abject poverty and abuse while others have every privilege afforded to them? 

To pretend that I have suffered more than others would be living a lie. That does not lessen my injury or provide comfort. My youngest daughter suddenly died before she turned 20. I have been in the depths of despair. I no longer wished to be in this life. How cruel to outlive your child — the torture of breathing when your child is no longer able to. I didn’t even want to be in my own body because it had betrayed me by staying alive. I felt like I had died too, just nobody noticed. This loss is out of order, it is against the rules, it is unfair, it is grievous. I have lost more than many but less than some."

Life and loss are indivisible: Learning to grieve for losses great and small is a critical skill. Childhood Grief article by Danielle B. Grossman 

 Coping with grief and loss