Friday, May 25, 2018

Meeting my sister, Susan!

My sister, Susan, came to visit! 

It was emotional from the first second of seeing her. She looks so much like "mom" and that was a little jolting. Her fun, sweet outlook of life, much like mom. Her hair, her smile, her eyes, her love of jewelry, her happy personality ... all very familiar to me. The one thing I caught myself saying was "my mom did this, or "my mom was this", realizing that this was her mom as well. It hurt me when I found myself saying it and quickly corrected that. Yes, this woman, I knew all my life, had a daughter I never knew about. Mind BLOWN

Going through documents, Mom's second marriage was on Susan's birthday? Coincidence? Seems weird. My brother's first passport (he was born on December 10th) had his birthday on December 17th, weird Freudian Slip? Maybe?

It hurts to my core that mom never felt like she could share this with the rest of her family. I can only imagine the shame and hurt she experienced, but wouldn't have it been wonderful for all of us to reunite at this point in our lives. To have so many questions answered, to have some unity to a family divided 60 years ago? I regret so much that mom was not here, to meet, hug, talk, laugh and come together in an understanding that life is not always fair for woman in the 1950's. That hard decisions are made that can be taken back. That mom could have had some reassurance that Susan has a good life, is an amazing person and held no ill will towards her.

We can't change that. Mom is gone. But Susan and I have each other and we can only go forward. I think about being in an alternate universe where she is going to High School and having experiences, and me doing the same in another state, all the while, having a sister I did not have a clue about. It is almost more than my brain can comprehend.

We held hands and hugged a lot. It felt good. We looked at photos, her life, my life. We shared memories of our lives. I met my niece, Lauren, who also came to visit. We did a little Seattle sight-seeing, visiting some of my favorite places. Matt was very emotional because Susan looks and sounds very much like mom, and he misses her. Frankly, we were all just blown away.

But we both waked up in the middle of the night and think "I have a sister". She knew she had a sister and was looking for her for many years, and me, never knowing I had one. Life is full of surprises! Blessed ones, as it turns out.

In typical sister-fashion, she kept telling me to smile. But as I pointed out, she inherited the perfect smile and I did not ... ')


s'mee said...

This. This is wonderful!

Erin Wilson said...

So glad you’re (still) finding each other.

Joanne S said...

Love your sister's glasses--I have the same ones. What a smile on her and I see your mom there.

Ancestry and the DNA tests are opening up so many deep family secrets. There is pain but our generation is so open to the truth and so accepting of the mistakes others made. It seems that at least once a month I read a blog post about finding a parent they knew nothing about or siblings. Or finding out the family they thought was theirs--isn't.

carlita said...

Such a sweet sweet story...❤️

Kim Carney said...

Thank you one and all!!! It is such a great story. I am just so sorry my mom did not tell this story sooner, so we could have all had a big hug together.

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