The Truth Of The Matter

I am coming out of “freelance fog” I have been in since before Christmas. The project was fun but took up every weekend, Christmas days off, New Year’s and hours after work. It is a big job for a friend of mine and I was so thrilled to be a part of it. I used skills I forgot I possessed, learned some news ones, and stretched creatively a little. Will know how it all by June and can share some images then. We have also been working on an exciting new product line that has taken a back seat to the more immediate proposal due in January.

My computer is faltering. It takes me so much longer to do any tasks on my computer than it should. Being on the internet is a painful experience. I must figure out a way to get a new computer ... soon. This morning I have quickly “gone-a-blog-reading” before I tackle taking the trees down.

I notice many bloggers are doing a 2008 round up. Ha, I say to myself, I can’t even remember last months’ events. I was using my Google calendar to note and keep track of my life before election craziness of October/November elections came around. I know 2007 started off rocky since we were dealing with mom being ill/hospitalized for most of December.

Mom was sick the last half of this November (I do remember that). Thanksgiving dinner, a distant blur. Family here for Christmas … but unexpected freelance project took over Christmas right during the snowstorm. The snowstorm put the kibosh on Christmas shopping … meaning … I never did buy presents for most of my family members. Not that we really need anything else! I had almost forgotten this was also “Summer Olympic” year and all the over-time hours at work spent on that.

My wish list for myself? I started a Mondo-Beyondo list last year and the year before … but don’t think I accomplished any entries. Will need to find that list and see if there are any items to check off. I am going to do one, eventually.

So do I call this year another flop? A blur? Void of personal artistic ventures? Birthdays forgotten, blogger friends’ emails unanswered, thank-you notes and Christmas cards not mailed, my personal goals ignored to take care of remodeling issues during my summer vacation. Managed to blog fun links but have not time to participate in flickr groups, self-portrait challenge or Illustration Friday.

Or do I just take pride that I did major home remodeling on critical house issues, I flew my wayward brother out to see my mom for 10 days, that I took on a new position at work that I struggle with everyday, that this confirmed “night owl” gets up every morning at 4:30a to go to work and learn CSS, still try to brainstorm some original ideas? That I take my mom to doctors appointments and stay with her during emergency room visits, took care of my dying Scooter for months, did fun “free” jobs for my friends that I love to do?

Pay for flying my husband and son to Kansas when I can’t really afford to go myself? Buy my son a car that he really wanted for his birthday. Spend thousands of dollars repairing my old truck and my mom’s old Jeep, and yes, M’s used car. (Yes, I remember, that was October, November.) Took visiting friends sightseeing around Washington? Entertain my cousin during his visit, and my aunt and uncle during their visit to Washington?

These are not choices … I do or don’t do. You just “do” and go on with your day. Life, my life. Most people with families, aging parents, stressful jobs (if we are lucky enough to still have one)… this is their year-end round up. Dealing daily the best you can and moving on. Then looking back and saying … was that “blur” that just happened 2008?

(Much later tonight) The last of the Christmas candy is almost gone. I just spent 8+ hours putting away Christmas trees and decorations. This might be my saddest day of the year, putting away the trees. I look at each and every ornament, all 500+ of them and remember who gave them to me. The love that went into picking it out, just for us. I wrote M a letter to go into one of the many empty boxes we have hanging on the trees. I have written many little love notes to him throughout the years, hidden in ornaments. There always feels like there is a big empty spot in the house without them. A bright light, gone.

But on the plus side, lots of dusting and cleaning and vacuuming, always a good thing. Still trying to get my packages ready to mail ... what I am doing now. Totally have dismissed getting Christmas cards out. I am thinking ... maybe something special for next year. Okay, I am getting repetitive throughout my blogging years ... next year, first on my Mondo Beyondo list ... to get organized.