Wellness check

So what used to be called an annual where they check all of your feminine bits and pieces is now called a "wellness check" ... for 65 and older. Where you have to answer a questionnaire about how many times you think about offing yourself, can you shower by alone, do you fall over carpets?, do you have your medical directives sorted out. Your drinking and smoking habits (I would say at this age DRINK MORE, SMOKE MORE!) So I had my "annual today". I do have to say, I love this doctor and the follow-up doctor I saw last week. Young and very gentle, smart. 

My blood pressure has gone way down. Because I quit drinking wine? That was way back before Christmas and I miss it around 5PM when it is time for the day to wind down. But not beyond that. Lost weight and even quit biting my nails ... after a lifetime of trying! After avoiding salt for years, I am now addicted to these Winco-snacky-bulk-tail-mix ... LOADED WITH SALT. Dr, Jia said I could probably back off of that now. Although, I did take another blood test today to check my sodium level. It was still low last week. 

I voiced my concern about how tired I felt and she assured me that it would take some time to bounce back from the low sodium/sepsis so just nap whenever I felt like it ... Sure! I said. But answering that questionnaire made me realize how vulnerable I feel as an old person AND how I am starting to really feel like an older person.  I watch old people more in public and wonder if they feel like me.

When I was at Winco and at the Dr. Office ... I noticed older people in wheelchairs or walkers and wonder if they are lucky enough to have family and kids that help them throughout their day. I do consider myself very lucky to have the kids here to help me, shop for me, or drive me places. Trading out clean house for peace of mind! I have almost stopped driving until I get the cataract surgery completed. I  have such a hard time seeing/reading anything at the grocery store! Going blind! Another aged infirmary not pleasant to experience.

Today driving home ... I turned down a street in my neighborhood I had never seen before. Just for grins. It was a wonderful street with well-built 70's homes with interesting front yards. I would have liked to live on that street.

I don't think there is a YouTube disaster movie I had not watched. Have substituted disaster movies for trump, for my SANITY. Although I did a trump meltdown yesterday when he went on truth social and all of his minions started mimicking his 'Biden had directed the FBI to kill on-sight during the Mar-a-Lago raid ...'  BTW Trump was not even AT Mar-a-Lago during the raid.

So all of his not-so-bright-cult-members will swallow that stupid story hook, line and sinker. This is what makes me so mad about this ... critical thinking for the cult? NO. When will that virus just disappear as he promised years ago.

Anyway, back to the disaster movies. I saw the "Sand Shark", a prehistoric, sand-dwelling shark that jumps out from the sand to eat people. Terrific! There was a great one where Bull sharks had invaded the Louisiana swamps. Every quake and volcano movie out there. Fortunately, or unfortunately ... I usually fall asleep so I can watch them over and over and over again. I think I am just having such a hard time sleeping ... anything to put me to sleep.

Another thing I need to quit besides the salty-snacky-crap-from-Winco ... Fruit Punch Gatorade. When my electrolytes were out of whack I started drinking this liquid crack! My son suggests the sugar-free but I don't like sugar-free.

Robin sent me a late-night text saying that Affleck and JLo had split. I had to call her back and say good ... every time I see a photo of Ben he looks miserable, walking or scowling from car to building holding a large cup of coffee or a large something. I gave up on him when he left the first, more beautiful Jennifer.

I love AJ Casson landscapes and brushwork.

Real art

I had my eye appt yesterday and am so excited to maybe getting scheduled for cataract surgery. My eyesight seems to be getting worse by the day. I really don't drive too much and having a hard time watching TV ... I stick to a iPad close to my face. Just checking into the surgeon in my network.

Still not sure how I feel about these AI images. On one hand they are fabulous ... but then NO ONE has created them, they have only "thought them up" ... they are computer generated. UNFAIR. It feels like it is cheating.

And then there is real art ... by Angela Smyth.

Nut allergy!

It is lovely and warm here the last couple of days. I sleep a little, eat a lot, crawl out on the back porch and scorch the bacteria from my body, then saunter back in to the sofa for another nap ') 

I am not quite that lazy but I have been "resting" a lot. Today, I feel great and I feel like I get stronger every day. I am just trying to go with it and not get all guilty about napping. Had a follow up with pulmonalogist. Seems everything is okay so far! 

I have been cleaning and trying to dust. The house is a mess.

The doctor reminded me that I was sepsis when I went in ... I had  forgotten about that. And just getting stronger from that would take a couple of weeks. 

I LOVE THE INTERNET.

 

Hospital stay

I have been wondering if I have the energy to write this post. 

Every time I successfully hoist myself off of the toilet seat I feel grateful. 

I have been in the hospital for over a week. It started a month ago? I don't even remember when or how. I started feeling so tired I could hardly leave the sofa. I would get up to do something and just give up and lay back down. It was hard to think, to talk ... and last week Bri drug me off the sofa and said you are going to the hospital. 

I had also had a cold/cough for awhile. I had weeks where I was super sensitive to smells and any smell would make me throw-up ... but of course I had not food in me so lots of dry heaving. The rest is a blur. 

The initial scare was that my sodium level had dropped to a dangerous level, hence, the not having energy or being able to form a sentence, so I got started on a a bunch if IVs. My arms look like pincushion. At a certain point they simple could not get a good IV port through a vein anymore. 

I was ordered for Nurse Rachett to eat bacon, and drink veg broth. Bacon, which I quit eating ages ago I started forcing my self to swallow ... Nurse Rachett insisted I eat the bread to because it has salt. I have sort of quit eating bread. 

The funny thing is, I though me eating radishes and bell peppers was for the healthier me. But true I was not getting enough protein. But then we came to the main issue I had ended up being pneumonia, lungs full of what my Dr delicately described as pus. Xrays later and a bronchoscopy where you could see all the fluid and God knows what else. 

Well, my mind took a dark turn that second night, I thought about how I was not going through any treatment, and how Matt would take it all, Not sad but just logical process. The next day Bri and I talked all morning about all the will and power of attorneys and all the paper work they had, made sure where it was, medical directives ,,, Bri is like me, was like to start off at the worst scenerio and work our way up. 

Anyway ... with that all out of the way ... I started eating 3 or 4 meals a day ... forcing whatever Nurse Rachett said. Oh, I had also lost a lot of weight and they weren't happy with that. So a week of being woken up every hour for blood test, blood pressure, temp, changing out IVs ... I am back home. The nursing staff was sooooo wonderful, patient. 

They are still waiting for the cultures to grow so they can see what kind of nasty shit is in there. I am on antibiotics for awhile. Bri stocked up the kitchen with lots of food for me to eat. But I have some energy back. I walked around the house, did dishes and little things. I am very weak, hence my fear of getting stuck on the toilet. 

The kids were my rock. Bri at the hospital, face-timing during meetings. She was checking My Chart all day seeing what the test results were. They have gone off the softball tonight. The girls just a crazy as ever.

They went to Costco earlier today and I said ,,, get a big chocolate cake. Still trying to figure out when and how my sodium got so low. But it all feels like too much to think about in depth, will do that later.

That time of the year to think FLOWERS

Justine Smith, florist extraordinaire. 

 Make your own Paper Petal Press

Kate Kato, Botanical Studies

I don't know who did this but I want it.

 

 

The Paper Heart makes Honeysuckle sing! (with instructions)

 

 

And then there are those flowers not of this world. By Malaysian artist Noreen Loh Hui Miun. More about her here and her Instagram.

 

 

Easter eggs, candy, homemade cinnamon rolls and ham for dinner

We had a very good Easter here in the Miller house. We had a morning-Easter-basket-candy-sugar-high, followed by a few melt-downs, homemade cinnamon rolls. The kids took the dogs to the dog park for long walk and they came home made a delicious dinner. 

For some reason I am hooked on Fruit Punch Gartorade and Hot Spicy V8 juice. I should make some raspberry ice tea. You know when you want something more than water ... well Coke or sweet fizzy drinks just don't do it for me now.

The day before I had bound off the sofa to save a bird from Oscar's mouth and pulled my back in the process. Bri grabbed up the little bird and we thought all might be well. So with Salonapas stuck to my back and the heating pad on high ... I stayed very still for a few days. Today is the most gorgeous, sunny day. It seems like everything started blooming at once. 

Bri and Mason have gone shopping, leaves the house very quiet. The dogs are illegally sleeping on the front room sofa, waiting for them. I can hear the wind chimes, an airplane taking off, an fire engine coming down the hill. The house creaking a little bit. It is nice to be really quiet. 

We  had another family "talk" about the future. State Farm had called to inquire about my Life Insurance status and offered to give me some quotes. I took notes and talk to the kids about it later. It is very expensive. Bri asked exactly what would I be getting for and I said I guess mainly so you guys could pay off the house if there is anything to pay off, you know things like that. They both agreed it seems like a waste of money and both said, we are getting the house and what ever money is left over ... it will be enough. We did decide to talk to Fidelity about maybe taking a little bit monthly and putting it into a separate account for college funds. Which also brought me to circle around to the will, trust and all the end of-life documents, DNR and such. All of this conversation makes Matt very uncomfortable. Thankfully, Bri understands fully what I want.

I don't want to spend a lot of time thinking and talking about this stuff with the kids but I do want to make sure we are all clear on my wishes. We were caught so off-guard with David's sudden death. It is important to have these discussions. 

My friend Elana just called. We check in with each other about once a week. Mainly to talk about the state of political upheaval. She is proud of my posting on FB every stupid little thing that trump has done. I do occasionally post some great art but normally I keep my FB open for my political rantings. I did really enjoy trump's bible sales infomercial. She wants to say, do more but she does not feel brave enough. Hey, I get it. She is Jewish and is feeling a little vulnerable right now. Really, anyone who isn't white or American, Christian should feel vulnerable right now in this country. I tell her ... I will post the outrageous stuff for YOU! I remember telling David I was going to quit FB and he said absolutely not! This is our Hitler's Germany moment ... and what have you always said about speaking up!

So if you ever want to follow me on FB to see the PISSED OFF kim version ... @kimberly.carney.artist/ ... come join my party. This first one is my favorite this week!

 

 

He posted 77 all-caps rants on Easter Sunday!

 

 

I almost forget to post this important video from Steve Schmidt. I love all of his videos but this one is the best. At one point I doubled over in laughter when he talks about the depths a trump’s depravity but at the end found myself crying. I feel like this is what the nation feels like right now ... confused, high and lows, hilarity, outrage and sadness, disbelief ... all in a matter of minutes.

 

 
I love this guy's work - Daniel Martin Diaz. I sometimes wish I was just starting out filling my house with art. Problem now is I have NO wall space for art. But I can still enjoy it! Every inch of the art there is something interesting to see.

Happy mess!

We can never have enough perfect wooden boxes!!! 

 

  

  

 

Debbie Downer here, again

I have become addicted to red Gatorade! And spicy V-8 juice. I am so tired of drinking water all day ... I made the shrimp spaghetti last night. And I am going to make a quiche today. I have been waking up writing a childhood autobiography. I was thinking I would just write it out quickly for the future. Weird. Today is my "fun day" collecting the kids from school.

I ordered some sweat pants and sweat shirt off of Amazon and reminded ONCE AGAIN not to buy from China. They make clothes to fit small Asian women, with completely different body styles than I have. I guess I am going to have to do OUT there and shop. Bri says she will be my personal shopper.

I spent the weekend raging against msnbc hiring Ronna McDonald! Yes, you heard that right. The insurrectionist who still insists that something was not right during the election and tried to help certify the fake electors! So I am boycotting them. Although I read that Morning Joe came out against the decision this morning.

I miss putting my thoughts down for the future and walk up every morning thinking of stuff to write about. Then start doing dishes or something and forget. 

trump's fines have been cut more than HALF this morning and his is why this asshole keeps doing his criminal activities ... because he gets away with it. When will this disgusting human be held accountable? 

So is there ANYTHING that humans can not destroy ... until our world is just on the brink of disaster? 

 

Joan Mitchell’s primary medium was oil paint on canvas, although she also created drawings and prints. Over the course of nearly five decades, she established a singular visual vocabulary rooted in gestural abstraction. Scribbled in colorful language!!!

I want a a big wallpaper like this in my place ... if I had a spot for it!

Blast of color with a dash of chaos

Nikta Ares intention is to depict the bond between the flow of energy and the chaos of movement luring the viewer to expand their own awareness.

My kind of book ... no reading required

I am back! Just had some homemade Indian food, talking to Bri about what is going on here and catching up with the dogs. AND the sun is shining.

I would love to own this book, Irma Boom's: The wild and wonderful SHV Think Book, a masterpiece of book design. I have found one used on for $8,000!

 

She also designed this book - Book, No. 5 Culture Chanel, 2013. The Amsterdam-based designer Irma Boom has made some innovative books, and a staggering 20 percent have found a home in a permanent collection at the Museum of Modern Arts.1 Such books are truly an experience — objects to be appreciated — even when they are technically vehicles for other artists. Indeed, Boom pushes the boundaries of bookmaking. In 2013, she completed a book commissioned by Chanel for its Chanel No. 5 perfume. This book is not printed, only embossed, in white. Would love to have this book too!

 

 

I was checking my TIAA account and noticed a ZERO balance! That was a heart-stopping moment. They told me that the company changed from TIAA to Fidelity but had not informed me they were transferring the money. So I called my Fidelity rep that I am pretty close to and he is looking into it for me. Well, that got me going this morning

I laughed when I saw putin commenting on his landslide victory. When you eliminate all of your competition ... landslide victories are sure to follow.

Sorry I have just disappeared. I feel like I have emptied my mind all all thoughts the last week. I finally ran across something that interest me when I discovered Irma Boom ... then my laptop crapped out. 

And she made smaller versions. 

Counting the minutes

I bought a new laptop and spent a few days setting it up. In preparation for coming to watch Robin's dogs for a week+. So I have been here many days now and finally gotten around to see if I can acess blogger from here ... and it worked. It is so weird to competely turn your life off. I really just count hours before I can leave. I hate to do that because then I hear the seconds slowly click by in real time. I am on the end now. My friend is having a great time in France so that makes me happy. 

Oh God, she has the most uncomfortable chairs. This is a smaller keyboard so I am making lots of mistakes. Not sure how great my new laptop is ... it keeps having issues. 

I have watched lots of movies and series. This morning I ran across YouTube video about Art in Spain. And when I get my laptop to work I will share the video. 

It had some great facts that I had forgotten about the Moors, Muslims, in Spain.  

Agriculture has been one of the central pillars of development of the world’s great civilisations and the agriculture of Al-Andalus made a key contribution to the advance of wellbeing in the western world. Prior to the arrival of the Arabs in Spain, agriculture had been based on a trio of crops, namely cereals, olives and vines. When the Arabs settled in Spain, they greatly enriched local farming with the introduction of other cereals (rice, sorghum), other vegetables (aubergines, artichokes, spinach and cardoons), other fruit trees (almonds, fig trees, mulberries, date palms, and citrus fruits) and other textile plants (cotton, hemp). They also used aromatic, medicinal, and ornamental plants. We should not forget that the increased variety of plant species was accompanied by the development of new methods of cultivation and the expansion of irrigation systems. The Arabs also perfected new methods for catching and storing subterranean and surface water and developed systems for terracing, draining and improving land. All of these aspects are analysed in this collection of twelve essays in which different authors highlight the importance of the Arabic influence on western agriculture. More books on this subject can be consulted at the Alhambra Library.

More to come, I am going to work on my laptop connections, 

Nothing to say right now

It feels like I have run out of fun things to say. Hoping to find something soon!! Still depressed about trump never being held accountable. Today's ruling was predictable.