The kids talk about moving, what their new house might look like. Bri says, "pretty soon, you will have all of your space back". I think they are nearing having enough money saved for a huge downpayment that will be required. Plus getting qualified for a loan means you have to have owned your business or have been working for the same company/industry for 3 years. Matt and Bri both have been very stable in their jobs for over three years. So everything feels like GO on this end.
They have lived here for over 8 years and it just does not feel that long. I remember the week Matt moved out the first time and my heart ached so desperately, I could not breathe. And we hardly ever saw them because they were busy with their lives, working and living ... and that was without kids. I know once they move we will really hardly see them unless I go to their place. I mean, this is how you want it to be but dread it to be?
Since they have lived here most of my friends will ask in not-so-subtle way "soooo, when are the kids moving to their own place?" My standard answer is always, "That is not something we talk about or think about. They will move when they have the money to get their own place. Trust me, Bri does not want to live here any longer than she has to. She wants her own house, her own kitchen, her own decorations."
David and I decided a long time ago to help them however we could. When they moved in, they were helping with bills because I had recently become unemployed and could honestly use the help. But gradually, we decided it might be better if they just took this opportunity to save their money, spend their money on the kids, buy new cars, prepare for the future in a way they could if they were paying mortgage and utilities. They buy majority of the groceries every day and they cook most of the meals.
David and I are in total agreement ... there is nothing we will not do to help give them a head start. We could not afford to give them a ton of money, but we could give them leg-up in this aspect. Plus we could help watch the kids while the kids were young. David loves having the grandkids close and they completely adore him. And there is nothing I won't do for my only son. We had him late in life and we will not be around that much longer.
This is NOT to say things don't get tense around here every once in awhile. But we have managed not to kill each other in 8 years, so I think we have done pretty good with so many people, animals, toys under one roof.
I have a love/hate relationship with early mornings. Because Matt and Bri have their bedroom downstairs, I am the first person the grandkids wake up every morning. They want chocolate milk, or the iPad or iPhone, or demand something requiring me to get up before everyone else. And then Murphy wants out and around 3am every morning the cats want out one by one. The upside of this is that I get snuggles with Noah and great conversations of Mason when the two are not trying to kill each other.
But my absolute favorite moments are when I am in my chair in the back room watching TV and the kids are in their front room or the kitchen interacting while they cook, or watching TV with the kids. And I can hear snippets of their conversation and the tone of their voices. I am a fly on the wall to their lives and I love it. Hear their respect for each other while they share their days' events.
So when Bri makes some reference to "pretty soon, you will have lots of space back", my heart sinks a little when I think about not seeing them every day or the kids in the early morning.
We have a terrific snow day yesterday. Murphy had a blast, the kids had fun playing in the snow. We made hot chocolate with a dash of cinnamon. Bri made a pot of potato soup, Matt kept a fire going all day, it was all magical.
And then late last night I stumbled upon Stories Of A Generation with Pope Francis on Netflix. What a wonderful documentary. I fell asleep for episode 4 but cried through most of it. "Over a year of filming across the globe to tell 18 stories of people over 70. Why? Because there are lives that can inspire our own". I can't find a transcript anywhere because I would love to read the bits of wisdom that Pope Francis was sharing again. It features remarkable people over 70 and their journey and incredible life stories.
Guess I will have to buy the book it is based on Sharing the Wisdom of Time. It was a great way to end the perfect day. He speaks on being a parent and the importance of the role of parents which really hit home with me and made me start thinking about our role in Matt's life and journey. And I just keep repeating to myself, "I will not start crying, I will NOT start crying."
"To walk toward the future, the past is needed" —Pope Francis
"One day, while at prayer, Pope Francis was inspired to shine a light on
the vital role of grandparents and other elders and the life-changing
wisdom they have to share. Sharing the Wisdom of Time is the
culmination of the Holy Father's vision. Elders from over 30 countries
share their wisdom carved from lifetimes of experience. From a blind
basket-weaver in Kenya to a centenarian midwife in Guatemala who has
delivered 10,000 babies, every story is a testament to the power of
faith, perseverance, human resilience, and love. Pope Francis
contributes as a fellow elder, offering the Preface and his own story in
each chapter, while also reflecting on dozens of others' stories."
4 comments:
Having lived in Iraq for 8 years now (how is that possible?!) multi-generational households feel really normal to me now. Not sure if it's something I could have managed, but I see so many benefits for all. Continue enjoying it as long as you can. :)
YOU are soooo right!!! My family has also shared with family members.
I will take it easy ;) I mean, it might not happen at all? LOL
I grew up in a two family house. My father's parents upstairs. We had a yard, my grandmother's garden, the Attic and deep basement where my grandmother canned vegetables from that garden. Even at two years, I climbed the stairs to have breakfast with my grandmother. We moved when I was 9. I was never really happy again.
Joanne S
I lived with my grandmother, Nanny, my aunt and uncle in an attic apartment we called the "Hot House". I remember many details although I must have been 2, 3, and 4. Then I lived in another apartment with my grandmother and uncle for years when my uncle was in High School. Nanny would make me Barbie clothes and I would sit at the sewing machine watching her. She also came out to the swimming pool with me almost every day and read a book. I loved living with her. When my mom was a very, volatile young mother, Nanny would be my savior.
I love the idea of you having breakfast with your grandmother. I loved living with my family.
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