"What's for dinner?"

I really miss writing my thoughts down! I think them ... but I don't collect them unless I blog. I was reflecting on my statement about being furious which seems incongruous with what I feel about my life ... content and calm. Yes, content and calm right now, with my lifestyle, with my day to day. I sit here in my family room, at beautiful skies, watch the clouds glide by OR, was in the last week, watch rain come pouring down. But it all seems wonderful right outside my window.

The cats lay around, snoring, content in their complete laziness. The dogs are only interested in what food I have on me. The girls come in and out of here, visiting, or telling me a story. The crows fly over. A jetliner is heading someplace exotic. I listen to the birds serenade the neighborhood, wrens, sparrows, junco, house finch, crows. They are all happy because Bri is good about feeding them. The neighborhood kids laughing. 

I mean I am still angry about losing my job, I miss my job ... I really miss being creative and productive but I have almost cut that out of my life. I know it is still hidden there somewhere because I get so tickled and excited when I find myself on Pinterest. My mind starts racing about all sorts of creative ideas. But my heart just isn't quite up for jumping in.

And I am angry with the world. So much so that I don't really want to be around other humans right now. I am angry with men that sit behind trump laughing when he makes some sick, stupid joke about God knows what ... usually at someone's else's expense. I am angry that the entire world isn't as upset as I am about having this fucking criminal sitting in the Oval Office, shitting on our constitution. I want the whole effing world to be as enraged as I am. They probably are ... I am just not talking to them (or anyone).

I know this is not making sense.  

My favorite time of day now is the hour we all start discussing dinner. "What's for dinner?" Someone will throw it out there. Then the discussion starts. My suggestion is always refried bean/cheese quesadillas. And everyone laughs. I could live on refried beans and tortillas. My next suggestion is always, bell pepper, cucumber and humus. More laughter from the group. 

Then everyone gets serious. I start thumbing through my Something Yummy Pinterest board. Matt usually has the winning suggestion. Nothing sounds good to the kids because they are picky little eaters.

I didn't have that luxury growing up ... being a pickly, little eater. I ate what was put in front of me, no questions asked. The same as I do today, I might add, because I am just glad and thankful that someone else has cooked a hot meal for me to enjoy. 

Matt has driven off to the store ... with that question in mind ... "what's for dinner?".  

And I am still pondering my anger question.

And what is on TV tonight? I watched the New The Four Seasons (I loved the original too). Netflix then suggested I would like Friends From College, which I did! Alpha Males (Filmed in Spain, is dubbed). Jo Nesbo's Detective Hole is back on Netflix! ...  And Bri made homemade brownies to eat while watching ;) I bought walnuts to make walnut crescents cookies.