Cleaning 101 from a toothpick cleaner

I am a toothpick cleaner, always have been. I can live in messy ... but once I start cleaning, I can't stop until it meets my standards.

Having a mother and grandmother who were constantly frying for dinner ... chicken fried steak, fried chicken ... I learned at an early age now to clean a greasy kitchen thoroughly. (I am sure this is one of the reasons I love to eat cucumber, bell pepper and humus!)

My grandmother NEVER deep-cleaned her greasy kitchen and once I started, I could not stop. I mean I would SCRAP the dried, old grease from her Formica back splash.

Having a 'clean' kitchen was a requirement in my childhood home. Thankfully, I really love to clean but more importantly, I love a clean room. The way it makes you feel accomplished when you finish the task. My finishing touch is always a spritz of good smelling room fragrance. 

So the kids fry a lot of meals here and I am compelled to do my "grease" cleanup routine. This means, around the stove top, back splash and side tiles, the vent hood, wash the grates, wash down grease from teapot that sits on the stove top.

So when I say "I did the dishes" ... this is what I am really doing! 

My favorite part of the day is when we start thinking/discussing "what's for dinner". Especially since I never have to cook it ;)

The Camellia is blooming in the neighbors yard, big, luscious, pink flowers. I tried to grow on in our yard a long time ago and it died. I always feel so lucky to have it right there at my eyesight from my desk window.

Bri reminded me the other day, we have a lot of cleanup and pruning to do soon in the yard.

The rain. It rains in one direction for a couple of hours, then in another direction. I am tired of watching raindrops pour down the windows, even more tired of having the wipe down poor Murphy, who comes in soaked. But he loves to be wiped down.

Murphy is such a 200-lb baby. In the middle of the night, he gets lonesome, or sad, or something and I wake up with a huge nose in my face. Him, just standing there, staring at me .... waiting for something? Sometimes he will get up and lay on my legs, which means, you can not move one inch. Or I check his food and water or give him a couple of pretzel/peanut butter treats from Costco. He is such a great, gentle dog with the kids and family members. So intimidating elsewhere. But Murphy is the most sensitive dog I have ever been around.

 I am doing, watching anything to try NOT to pay attention to the madness going on. I think I mentioned I have LOVED watching Turkish Rom Coms! They are almost all dubbed whereas the Spanish Rom Coms or Novellas are subtitled. The Spanish could learn something from the Turks.

On Netflix: Love Tactics, Thank you, Next, Old Money are a few. The women are beautiful (usually all lawyers), the men are fabulous, they are all rich, the plot, silly, even they classify them as "goofy, romantic". But I can not get enough. You can thank me later ;)

PS the trailers are not dubbed but the show is. 

The reality of death

I have been spending time in the car driving back and forth to Seattle and have been writing this post in my head for a couple of days now. 

It is a little painful but I was talking to another friend who said she had been thinking about the same thing. Death. At my age, I think about death a lot, not in a morbid sense but the thing of what is to come. And I saw my old place of work from the highway and was thinking about the loss of my job. Then I was insulted by a friend of mine and decided I don't think we can be friends anymore. Another death, death of a long-time friendship. I have experienced lots of death with the ending of my relationships with friends and family in this political climate. The loss, the feeling of loss really took shape in my brain. Death of family, death of spouse, of parents, of careers, of jobs, of friendships. These things just happen at our age, it is inevitable and coming to terms with it is the healthy way to go. 

I  brought this up with another friend who wishes I wouldn't be negative about life but I don't see this as "negative", I see this as acceptance.

Ending a friendship is painful but when you have been shown how that friend really feels about you, you must take action. 

I am not afraid of dying. The kids and I talk about it all the time. I want us all to be prepared for it will happen, if we want it to or not. In the meantime, we have a great life we are living in the here and now. I think us all watching David pass, laying on the grass in the backyard made life and death even that much more real. I lost Pixie not long ago, a 16 year relationship. We all know how painful a death of a beloved pet can be. I held my mom's hand as she passed away here in her bedroom, then Matt and I stood at the end of the bed, crying and saying goodbye. 

And even though these losses are hard, I feel privileged to having been there, being a part of their lives until the end. Mason and Noah talk of David daily as if he was just in the other room. We tell stories and laugh at his expense. We all have great memories and I am glad we share them with each other.

I am also hoping as I end my long-time friendship that I can think of her in the future with love in my heart and remember all the memorable times we spent together. But when someone shows you how they feel, revealing a truth that they had not meant to ...  how can you ever go back?

We are also giving David's old Subaru away to a family member in need of a vehicle. The car has been sitting in the driveway for years. And as much as I hate to see it go, it is really time. 

Matt was cleaning it out and told me that the interior smelled just like David and I should go out and "have a sniff". Matt cleaned out 100's of cash cards, loyalty cards, gift cards, he came in with a huge stack of them. I was thinking how many places that car has taken David and I and Matt over the years. Back and forth to Winthrop to the skate park every weekend. Matt and I going on Oregon trips on the weekends. David and I taking out road trips. It was a very good car for almost 30 years!

On a brigher note, Bri has been faithfully feeding the birds and our yard is the most popular in the entire neighborhood. We have a flock of bushtits that fly in and out, flickers, chickadees. It all makes me happy! And a couple of visiting squirrels that keep the cats at the door window in a riot.

I don't know what this is ... but I love it

Sedjroxx is creating his own fashion magazine. Sign me up!

A cast away

It is so weird to be so passionate about something for 30 plus years, and then in a blink of an eye, you are not.

I am helping my friend with her new book and I can not remember ONE SHORT CUT KEY to anything. It is very frustrating. Something I loved for years, Abobe Illustrator and Indesign just mentally cast aside. I miss them but they don't seem to have meaning to me with an ultimate goal of creating something. Oh, but cast aside just hit me hard when I typed that. I guess I do feel like I too was cast aside in a field that love. And then of course, no one is going to hire an old lady close to retirement years. All bad timing.

Interesting I should type those words that have so much pain for me now.

I keep finding little work files on my computer like this one. I thought I threw them all away. Someday perhaps I will clear it all away.

 

I think more than anything, I am just frustrated with myself for not being proficient at Indesign anymore. 

Magical connection

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Ours was very quiet. Bri, Matt and I decided Christmas will never be the same without David. But we tried! All the holidays seem uneventful, unmemorable the last couple of years. I probably could put more effort into the process. Maybe next year will be different. I received a few Christmas cards and they just made me feel guilty for my complete lack of effort. 

It would also be the hateful state of our country. I think about the years I have fretted over this madman and it makes me crazy. I hope I live long enough to see him GONE FOR GOOD.

With all of that said, I told Bri the other day that we will look back at this time in our lives as being very calm and peaceful. Matt is home, working on the house, cooking dinners. Bri works a part time schedule, her salon is about 10 minutes drive down to Edmonds. NO commuting. The girls are happy and have lots of friends that they hang out with, run around the neighborhood with, they give me little "shows" most of nights of dancing and gymnastics, or do lots of art. And I just hang out with essentially no worries, watching the birds hang from the suet cages, flutter around the yard eating and chatting. Bri has a bird feeder obsession, so we have lots of birds.

I enjoy watching my really silly shows. Occasionally I find a really good movie and feel thankful. I pay bills, do the dishes, keep the kitchen clean, watch TV, watch the weather float by. I feel calm and content and it is a wonderful feeling. I do have some dental work that needs to be addressed but I am trying not to get all agitated about that.

I hope everyone had a nice holiday and New Year! Let's make this on better than the last.

Charlie Moon's work celebrates the beauty and complexity of life by blending specialized techniques with personal stories and experiences. It offers a moment of refuge from the harshness of reality, inviting viewers to focus on the softer, more enchanting sides of existence.

Loving the beetle details.