Well, it has been an eventful couple of weeks! I am trying my best to keep my head above water and not drown in depression or anger. I swear every morning I am going to clean house and not pay attention to our country being destroyed BUT it only takes one news report and I am OFF on my raging! I have a silent cry every morning for the destruction of our country.
Let's don't forget that frumpty dumpty accused Ukraine of starting the war with russian, YESTERDAY. Hope you didn't miss that little press conference of nonsense.
This morning Kash Patel was confirmed after he LIED throughout his confirmation hearing. He actually said he did not have a "hit list" ... when it is written right there in HIS BOOK. Government Gangsters, and let's not forget his children's book, The Plot Against the King (oh, how precious, he also offers an "activity book".
On some fronts I feel incredibly lucky. To have the kids here, even though we live in a dog-hair-mess, kid shoe mess ... I am coming to terms that my life is going to be messy. Meanwhile, Matt makes great meals every night. Last night was a "deconstructed pot roast". Which meant, all the vegetables were perfect. The kids didn't have to pick out the mushrooms. You could pick and choose all of the ingredients you wanted. I took the kids shopping the other day for stuff to make necklaces with and I ended up buying "gourd shaped safety pins" just because I had to have them.
I know I have older friends who are totally alone. Their friends have died and their kids have no interest in visiting. Yes, I have enticed them here with the promise that they will have the house ;) but they would have had that anyway. But I know I will have someone help me to the bathroom when the time comes. Or be with me when I pass. I have had great moments building a relationship with the grandkids, and hope they will remember me kindly. I friend of mine is helping her friend, who has NO family and is entering into early ALZHEIMER. She helped her sell her house, get into an independent living situation, is trying to get her end of life papers signed by lawyers, looking into assisted living. All of this while reminding her to take her medication and get her to her doctors appointment. Not an easy task, and a lot of work for someone who isn't a family member. So when I hear her stories, I feel very grateful. Thinking of the end of life stuff can be exhausting but not depressing for me anymore. With the politic mess we are in, I am rooting for the asteroid.
I was thinking how I need to call my wonderful neighbor yesterday! I was saying this out loud to Mason and explaining to Mason that anyone who is not at the level of outrage that I am, I just don't want to expose them to that anger. And as soon as we got home, Meaghan called! To say I have not talked to you in awhile, just checking in! Isn't that something?
Speaking of level of outrage ... I friend called the other day out of the blue. We really haven't spoken much since 2016 trump. He and I worked with a guy who ended up being a crazy trump supporter and he would not say that that was all crazy. You know, anyone who thinks trump is okay, is not on my christmas list. I would rather not have them in my orbit AT ALL. So anyway, he called to check in and said "the minute trump won, I thought about you". I don't know why that bothered me so much but then I realized. If he didn't say "the minute trump won, I became afraid for our democracy" would have been a better response. I think, if that was not your first and foremost thought, then you probably voted for trump. This is the art that our old friend did that sent me off the deep end.
But my anger is starting to run so deep. My old friends, friend who I thought would have been stunned about what is going on, remain silent is so confusing to me. I am really trying to get passed that but it is getting harder with more destruction that is going on. I don't expect everyone, friends or family to be as upset as I am but at least be concerned! My kids understand but I don't demand that they rage with me. They just shake their heads in a agreement and carry on. ;)
I really love Walton Goggin's home! All the old wood is so inviting! Well, and he is a a great actor too.
I have a movie recommendation. A sweet, gentle movie, I found myself tearing up. The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry. I think I watched it on Hulu. Far from the serial killers series that I have been watching.
I think about blogging everyday but then I get wrapped up in the news and the mess going on, musk and his minions delving into our financial data. I am up in arms and then I feel so down I can hardly think. I have ventured into some pretty dark places of rumble or comments from the right. I wish I could say I wasn't losing my mind in grief but I would be lying. I told Bri the other day, I did not think I would see democracy crumble in my lifetime.
I have to say the last couple of weeks have been torture, I am sure for all of us sane people. The two things that are keeping me sane this week is that 1) we have snow and the girls and all of their friends are giggling and running in and out of the house 2) watching the hummingbird. When I think I am going to start screaming, I go the back door and watch the miracle of the little hummingbird survival in winter.
I have not deleted my fb yet but am getting closer and closer.
I am going to brush my hair and take the girls to Hobby Lobby.
My sister-in-law birthday is coming up and I have been looking around for something fun to get her.
I love the flowers at chive.com where there is a huge selection of beautiful flowers.
Board Talk Studio on etsy and on Instagram. I LOVE her art. I need something that makes me happy right now.
I look for the beauty in nature, patterns, the ordinary. This is my place where I save wonderful discoveries since 2004. Please contact me at kimberlycarney AT hotmail DOTCOM.
