Well, it has been an eventful couple of weeks! I am trying my best to keep my head above water and not drown in depression or anger. I swear every morning I am going to clean house and not pay attention to our country being destroyed BUT it only takes one news report and I am OFF on my raging! I have a silent cry every morning for the destruction of our country.
Let's don't forget that frumpty dumpty accused Ukraine of starting the war with russian, YESTERDAY. Hope you didn't miss that little press conference of nonsense.
This morning Kash Patel was confirmed after he LIED throughout his confirmation hearing. He actually said he did not have a "hit list" ... when it is written right there in HIS BOOK. Government Gangsters, and let's not forget his children's book, The Plot Against the King (oh, how precious, he also offers an "activity book".
On some fronts I feel incredibly lucky. To have the kids here, even though we live in a dog-hair-mess, kid shoe mess ... I am coming to terms that my life is going to be messy. Meanwhile, Matt makes great meals every night. Last night was a "deconstructed pot roast". Which meant, all the vegetables were perfect. The kids didn't have to pick out the mushrooms. You could pick and choose all of the ingredients you wanted. I took the kids shopping the other day for stuff to make necklaces with and I ended up buying "gourd shaped safety pins" just because I had to have them.
I know I have older friends who are totally alone. Their friends have died and their kids have no interest in visiting. Yes, I have enticed them here with the promise that they will have the house ;) but they would have had that anyway. But I know I will have someone help me to the bathroom when the time comes. Or be with me when I pass. I have had great moments building a relationship with the grandkids, and hope they will remember me kindly. I friend of mine is helping her friend, who has NO family and is entering into early ALZHEIMER. She helped her sell her house, get into an independent living situation, is trying to get her end of life papers signed by lawyers, looking into assisted living. All of this while reminding her to take her medication and get her to her doctors appointment. Not an easy task, and a lot of work for someone who isn't a family member. So when I hear her stories, I feel very grateful. Thinking of the end of life stuff can be exhausting but not depressing for me anymore. With the politic mess we are in, I am rooting for the asteroid.
I was thinking how I need to call my wonderful neighbor yesterday! I was saying this out loud to Mason and explaining to Mason that anyone who is not at the level of outrage that I am, I just don't want to expose them to that anger. And as soon as we got home, Meaghan called! To say I have not talked to you in awhile, just checking in! Isn't that something?
Speaking of level of outrage ... I friend called the other day out of the blue. We really haven't spoken much since 2016 trump. He and I worked with a guy who ended up being a crazy trump supporter and he would not say that that was all crazy. You know, anyone who thinks trump is okay, is not on my christmas list. I would rather not have them in my orbit AT ALL. So anyway, he called to check in and said "the minute trump won, I thought about you". I don't know why that bothered me so much but then I realized. If he didn't say "the minute trump won, I became afraid for our democracy" would have been a better response. I think, if that was not your first and foremost thought, then you probably voted for trump. This is the art that our old friend did that sent me off the deep end.
But my anger is starting to run so deep. My old friends, friend who I thought would have been stunned about what is going on, remain silent is so confusing to me. I am really trying to get passed that but it is getting harder with more destruction that is going on. I don't expect everyone, friends or family to be as upset as I am but at least be concerned! My kids understand but I don't demand that they rage with me. They just shake their heads in a agreement and carry on. ;)
I really love Walton Goggin's home! All the old wood is so inviting! Well, and he is a a great actor too.
I have a movie recommendation. A sweet, gentle movie, I found myself tearing up. The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry. I think I watched it on Hulu. Far from the serial killers series that I have been watching.
I think about blogging everyday but then I get wrapped up in the news and the mess going on, musk and his minions delving into our financial data. I am up in arms and then I feel so down I can hardly think. I have ventured into some pretty dark places of rumble or comments from the right. I wish I could say I wasn't losing my mind in grief but I would be lying. I told Bri the other day, I did not think I would see democracy crumble in my lifetime.
I have to say the last couple of weeks have been torture, I am sure for all of us sane people. The two things that are keeping me sane this week is that 1) we have snow and the girls and all of their friends are giggling and running in and out of the house 2) watching the hummingbird. When I think I am going to start screaming, I go the back door and watch the miracle of the little hummingbird survival in winter.
I have not deleted my fb yet but am getting closer and closer.
I am going to brush my hair and take the girls to Hobby Lobby.
My sister-in-law birthday is coming up and I have been looking around for something fun to get her.
I love the flowers at chive.com where there is a huge selection of beautiful flowers.
Board Talk Studio on etsy and on Instagram. I LOVE her art. I need something that makes me happy right now.
FB post this morning:
Packed you underwear, Dramamine. Grab your barf bag. We are traveling to earth two for four years, or what I call The Twilight Zone of lies and grift
I hear the cult are booing former presidents. It’s like we are in the middle of one of those pay-to-view, fake WWE shows. Stupid, classless, clueless… what can I say.
You know that you can tell how badly made a movie is within minutes, and how horrible it is going to be? I have watched many of these on YouTube the last year. Well, I just skipped the one this morning because it had bad actors, and you know the predictable ending is going to be pathetic
So I will go back to having my morning cry, just like I did the previous trump administration. Waking up sweaty at 3 or 4 am, to the reality that he has done something stupid and uncalled for the night before. My ‘holly hunter cry moment’
Thoughts that go through my mind today:
I love scrubbing off dried refried beans from plates
You know those plastic toothpicks we see all over the place in parking lots and such? Well, know I find them all over the house and bathroom.
I see more trash on the grands girls bedroom floor, than I do in the actual trashcan
Now the kitchen is clean again, so we can start all over again making it a mess
Jesus, who just burned the chocolate chip cookie in the microwave?
I wish the kids would tell me when Pixie poops in the bathroom!
How many more cups of coffee will it take this morning?
Last night Mason was up at midnight, couldn't sleep and the dogs woke me up and we looked outside to see the deepest, bluest, most amazing night sky I have seen in a long time. We both stayed out, in the cold, on the deck just looking. It was magical.
I am investigating how to download my post and photos from FB. Looking up post about my mom, dad, brother, david ... and all the comments and photos, it becomes incredibly difficult to just delete all. But that is what I want to do. That an Threads which I tried to delete but could not remember the password the it would not allow me to create another. So tied to to technology, emotionally! I am disgusted with myself.
Of course I am not watching the asshole's inauguration. I have decided to watch Davids's favorite PBS baseball series instead. That is hours and hours of delight. Then next I might watch the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice. I have all of these DVDs. Bri keeps telling me to get rid of them, but we have 100's and I knew they would come in handy some day.
I hope I can pull myself out of this black hole of anger and despair. I am so disgusted with this country. Oh, did you see asshole started his own crypto currency a day before the inauguration and made billions of dollar in one day? At least on paper. Oh, and then Melania launched her own the following day. Welcome to the land of grift.
Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI) said he was "totally supportive" of purchasing Greenland after MAGA economist Stephen Moore suggested renaming the autonomous territory of the Kingdom of Denmark to "Trumpland."
Ann Weber's organic sculptures are delicious. Makes me want to do art!
Amy Genser works with paper, paint, metal and wood to explore her obsession with texture, pattern, and color.
Evocative of natural forms and organic processes, her work is simultaneously irregular and ordered.
She uses paper as pigment and constructs her pieces by layering, cutting, rolling, and combining paper.
The process is a meditation, which Amy describes as a beautiful dream. Her hands take over and her mind is quiet.
The natural world is a clear source for Amy’s work. She is fascinated by the flow of water,
the shape of beehives, and the organic irregularity of plants, flowers, rock formations, barnacles, moss, lichen,
and seaweed. Her pieces bring to mind aerial landscape views, satellite imagery, and biological cellular processes.
One week of sanity left. I am trying to enjoy waking not and not checking if he has started some random war or nuked some country that he wants to buy.
I watched the wild fire news until I could emotionally take anymore. Then turned back to mind-numbing Hallmark mystery movies. Don't give ME the side-eye! I probably will not be able to find 4 years of entertainment to take my mind off of politics. I am giving it much thought.
Am re-watching some Miss Marple while I do dishes today.
I have so much to do around the house that I am sure I have at least two years worth of work to keep my mind occupied.
I look for the beauty in nature, patterns, the ordinary. This is my place where I save wonderful discoveries since 2004. Please contact me at kimberlycarney AT hotmail DOTCOM.
