Friday, March 27, 2015

Facing death

Since March 9, 2015, my mom has been in the hospital. Beginning with dehydration, easily fixed with lots of IV fluids. Which then became fluid on her lungs, so they tired to get that off, in a matter of days, she had a catastrophic lung event which has led us down this path of her not being able to breath on her own, at all.

No one really knows what is really going on. After many X-rays, scans, breathing treatments, many consulting doctors, from urgent care, to critical care, now respiratory unit. It has been a long two weeks of watching a vibrant women waste away. It is my honor to be with her every day and night to get us either through this or to the end of this.

This is my little work station in her room, where we sometimes watch movies, or catch up on her favorite tv shows. We listen to books of tape on the iPad, which I don't think she really likes, but it does make her fall fast to sleep. The hardest thing is to watch my beautiful, vibrant mom endure indignities. And have her apologize.

And lately I have been having dreams that my house is flooding. I looked it up, it can be about sadness and loss.

PS There is no sleeping or resting in hospitals.



59 comments:

Joanne S said...

I have just done ten days with my husband in the hospital and another 10 at home as his 24/7 care giver--his was a sudden heart attack on march 4.

My thoughts, prayers go out to you. Readers of my blog sent the same--and, truly, I felt wrapped in those kind thoughts as I struggled to remain clam and positive. We had lung issues as well. I will be thinking of you each day.

Kim Carney said...

Oh, Joanne, I am so sorry! That is so much work for one person (not to mention the stress). Thank you for your good thoughts and prayers, they do mean the world to me.

LindaSonia Anyname said...

Oh Kim....I'm sooo very sorry to hear what is going on with your Mom. Wish there was something I could do.

I'll be praying for her and for you. Sending you a hug.

Erin Wilson said...

So, so sorry Kim. From the glimpses into your life, it's been obvious that you've loved your mother well. Another beautiful gift (to both of you) to be by her side though this part of her journey.

Praying...

s'mee said...

I am a puddle of tears and emotion right now. I am completely saddened to hear this about two women I have never met, but feel I know in profound ways. I have grown to love you both through the words that flow from your heart. Never have I read a cross sentence in regard to your mom or her living with you or the circumstances that come from aging and work and the day to day life you all share. It's always love and humour and deep respect. I so admire this in you; and frankly, I am jealous of the relationship you share.

You have my heart, my good vibes, my prayers.

wordybird said...

i'm so glad you're able to spend this time with your mom. my mom died quite suddenly many years ago while i was thousands of miles away in Paris. very traumatic. i'm sending lots of Texas love to both of you.

Shelley Noble said...

So sorry, Kim. Much sympathy and hopes for the best possible comfort and health to all involved. Much love to you meanwhile.

Nimbostratusdweller said...

Easter came along and I was back in her kitchen in Arlington where we were dying and decorating eggs. She preparing her especially grand Easter dinner with the greatest of ease.
All our holidays together at her house and mine.
The time at that ranch comes to mind too.

Memories engulf me as I recall our antics eating ice cream in her bed while doing a movie marathon. Her ice cream no less.

So many fun, funny and crazy times I'll never forget.

She'll always be this great friend to me.

Hugs to you Kim.
And love love love to Mother. .

meggiecat said...

Holy Cow! My heart screams No!
Love to you both

Glenn said...

Hang in there.

Water in dreams typically means emotions. Your house represents your psyche/self. A flood of emotions. An understandable dream, given the circumstances.

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