My anger is red hot

Orbital sanders, in tandem, are outside my house. It feels like we are being attacked by large mosquitoes banging on the walls. They have pressured washed, now sanding and filling preparing to paint. I think the sanders will be going off for awhile. 

Last night the kids went to play golf and I stayed behind with the grandkids. Mason was watching a movie with her friend (connected online) and made herself a "snack tray" with nuts, chocolate, cheestos, crackers ... an assortment to stuff. Then Noah decided she wanted a snack tray so she made hers and wanted me to watch DANCING WITH THE STARS. I have not watched that in years but Noah was to excited to share her experience ... how could I say no. 

The show was so much worse than I remember! Cheesy, big white veneered smiles, the irritating personalities. Not a sincere moment. Fortunately Noah was dancing in front of the TV so I didn’t have to watch too much. Mostly watching Noah, clapping for her performance. And I voted for Noah to win! David and I would watch the kids dance in front of the TV to some songs ... it felt like the good ole days.

My head, my heart hurts with all that is going on. I wish I could turn off my 'caring' button but I can't. 

I went down the rabbit hole of hate this morning, following some Christian goofball that had made a comment on a post. I inspected his facebook, his friends, his wives ... all good, God loving Christians, full of love for Trump and hate for everyone else. 

Making kirk a martyr. THE VICE PRESIDENT taking over a kirk podcast to spew hate and shit. I read through this stuff in the morning and feel so helpless and alone. Then the kids gather for lunch and we have a quick discussion about the morning's events and I feel a little better, less alone. At least I know there is a little balanced sanity, if only in my kitchen, with the kids.

 

 

I went to sleep watching Hallmark movie and woke up this morning with a Hallmark movie featuring a gay couple getting married!

 

My anger is red hot right now. Mainly at my banned friends and family that I will forever hold responsible for giving our democracy away to narcissistic child who loves gold and money above all else. People, friends that while growing up, in school together, I would have thought would scream just as loud as me at the ridiculousness of donald dump, but instead ignore, accept or worse just go along with whatever he is saying to appease family members. Or worse, they actually believe what he is saying. I will never understand what is going on now. I don't want to understand it. My heart breaks for our country.