I remember seeing the contact sheet and thinking, I looked so much better than I ever thought I could, or at least I looked authentic of myself. Not stunning, not beautiful, but true of me, who I am. And being amazed, thrilled. Isn't it funny how we see ourselves? Why can't we be happy with the way we are? I guess I am content with the way I am now, or am I just too tired too make a change?
I remember the day, my friends house near the beach at Half Moon Bay, her husband taking my photo. Me feeling self-conscience having my photo taken. It was on the heals of (another) bad break-up, I was very thin, sad, disillusioned with life in general. I was living in the Marina in San Francisco in the small but perfect flat and I really had a dream life. Bus to work through North Beach, China Town. Operas, shopping, Half Moon Bay. Walking at night in the fog. Soon after this I meet D and we were off to another life, another city, bigger, better dreams.
{later} I was thinking about this as I wondered the aisles of Home Depot looking for belt sander sanding replacement, a few flowers and lightbulbs. I was thinking about how I had changed, how I am not the same person. How I can't fit into my Jones New York size 10 pleated trousers that I packed up thinking someday I would wear again. About how I pay more attention to the development of the seedpod instead what I am clothes I am going to shop for. How I would rather look at my son's face than anything else in the world. How much patience I have gained and how impatient I was then. How I think about bigger things than myself now. Yes, I am definitely not the same person, I am much better. Thank you all so much for the sweet and considerate comments about the old me ;)
(I tried to do a comparison photo, with some blowed-dried hair - HA)
simply beautiful, Kim.
ReplyDeleteKim, you look serene... no one could ever guess there were feelings that might be anyting other than... lovely.
ReplyDeleteI was surprised...you do look serene and peaceful.
ReplyDeleteIlike how you put these together.
Whatever you were feeling at the time, in the photos you ended up looking very contemplative. I love the slight smile, like you had a secret you weren't telling.
ReplyDeleteCool pics!
Stunning. Simply stunning. You are beautiful then and now.
ReplyDeletea.
i love it.
ReplyDeletethea is right...very serene and peaceful.
beautiful you.
It seems to me the you in the photo had an inkling of what was to come. Lovely as always.
ReplyDeleteVery poignant and lovely.
ReplyDeleteKim this is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteit is a beautiful photo and i really like your treatment too. your hair and the apparent wind blowing in it is perfect!
ReplyDeleteboth sets are supsupsuperb!
ReplyDeleteKim,
ReplyDeleteI loved this post and can really relate to your feelings. Great work!
You wear your contentment like patience on a monument. Let me look again? Yup. Still beautiful.
ReplyDeleteto see the passage of time and imagine the life lived is the most touching of visuals for me.....i am so moved by the beauty.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea and successful comparison. I always love to read you blog. You are so talented. Thanks for stopping by my blog too. I am just learning the blogging ropes and to find inspiration from others helps.
ReplyDeleteI love both sets. You are so beautiful.
ReplyDelete