Hospital stay

I have been wondering if I have the energy to write this post. 

Every time I successfully hoist myself off of the toilet seat I feel grateful. 

I have been in the hospital for over a week. It started a month ago? I don't even remember when or how. I started feeling so tired I could hardly leave the sofa. I would get up to do something and just give up and lay back down. It was hard to think, to talk ... and last week Bri drug me off the sofa and said you are going to the hospital. 

I had also had a cold/cough for awhile. I had weeks where I was super sensitive to smells and any smell would make me throw-up ... but of course I had not food in me so lots of dry heaving. The rest is a blur. 

The initial scare was that my sodium level had dropped to a dangerous level, hence, the not having energy or being able to form a sentence, so I got started on a a bunch if IVs. My arms look like pincushion. At a certain point they simple could not get a good IV port through a vein anymore. 

I was ordered for Nurse Rachett to eat bacon, and drink veg broth. Bacon, which I quit eating ages ago I started forcing my self to swallow ... Nurse Rachett insisted I eat the bread to because it has salt. I have sort of quit eating bread. 

The funny thing is, I though me eating radishes and bell peppers was for the healthier me. But true I was not getting enough protein. But then we came to the main issue I had ended up being pneumonia, lungs full of what my Dr delicately described as pus. Xrays later and a bronchoscopy where you could see all the fluid and God knows what else. 

Well, my mind took a dark turn that second night, I thought about how I was not going through any treatment, and how Matt would take it all, Not sad but just logical process. The next day Bri and I talked all morning about all the will and power of attorneys and all the paper work they had, made sure where it was, medical directives ,,, Bri is like me, was like to start off at the worst scenerio and work our way up. 

Anyway ... with that all out of the way ... I started eating 3 or 4 meals a day ... forcing whatever Nurse Rachett said. Oh, I had also lost a lot of weight and they weren't happy with that. So a week of being woken up every hour for blood test, blood pressure, temp, changing out IVs ... I am back home. The nursing staff was sooooo wonderful, patient. 

They are still waiting for the cultures to grow so they can see what kind of nasty shit is in there. I am on antibiotics for awhile. Bri stocked up the kitchen with lots of food for me to eat. But I have some energy back. I walked around the house, did dishes and little things. I am very weak, hence my fear of getting stuck on the toilet. 

The kids were my rock. Bri at the hospital, face-timing during meetings. She was checking My Chart all day seeing what the test results were. They have gone off the softball tonight. The girls just a crazy as ever.

They went to Costco earlier today and I said ,,, get a big chocolate cake. Still trying to figure out when and how my sodium got so low. But it all feels like too much to think about in depth, will do that later.