Stick a fork in me, I think I am done

My best friend was telling me the other day that I was posting happier stuff on Facebook and she thought I was doing better with my trump-rage-posting. She has been telling me for three years that I was radicalized which my response is/was: If I don't speak out about the stupidity I see going on, I will be complicit in acting like this presidency is normal, which he is not! If I don't say something about something illegal he does daily then it will feel like I approve of that behavior, which I do not.

I agreed her assessment but later started thinking about that. After 3+ years of sheer panic, I mean waking up every day at 3:45am in tears, thinking about where our country is and where it is heading ... I am exhausted emotionally. And our situation gets worse BY THE DAY.  He lies and 39% of Americans believe him. He gets the CDC and the FDA to lie and play along with his Covid-19 cover-up and ignorance. He has the GOP by the nuts, afraid to speak truth to any lie that falls out of his mouth.

Losing my job didn't help. Worrying about finding another. Worrying about the world trying to deal with Covid-19 while many are ignoring science and facts that we are not going forward in our quest to overcome this pandemic until we all get on the same page, wear mask, stay home as much as we can, limit social contact, certainly DO NOT go to Sturgis and hang out with thousands of bikers NOT wearing mask. At this rate, we will be in this pandemic for a long time and our economy will NOT bounce back. Small businesses that we love will shutter their doors, restaurants will falter, more jobs will be lost and jobs we have lost will not come back. All preventable, if we just practice some smart and civilized restraint and stop listening to politicians, in particular ONE idiot (I will not call him a politician) that wants his great economy back ("the greatest economy HE created in the history of our country") and keep encouraging schools, business to open no matter what the risk. Trump's new Covid-19 professional advisor, Dr. Atlas is telling the world that we need herd immunity which means most of us "older folks" will be dead ... and they don't care. Of course, let's not mention that Dr. Atlas in NOT an immunologist like Dr. Fauci, who has advised six Presidents on HIV/AIDS and many other domestic and global health issues.

I have also been worrying about the vast number of people about to be evicted, families, older Americans, bound for the streets? If the economy keeps going in this direction, we will see another great depression.

Trump has literally tainted everything he has touched. He has ruined our wonderful country. His hate, his lies, his racism, his cult followers have turned this country into someplace I do not recognize. I have seen little hints of what is going on in the past. My own father whining and complaining that "the government" was coming after his guns FOR YEARS and guess what ... he still has all of guns. I have heard my own family spewing hate against Mexican/Americans and gays way back when ... I ignored it because I saw a world that was growing away from that kind of thinking. My world, the world I lived in, worked in, did was not think like that. Then Trump's birther movement started and I ignored that because I thought it was stupid and was not worth the energy even addressing it or fighting with people about it. And I was so wrong. There we 39%+ Americans out there, including some of MY best friends and family who nodded their heads in agreement and would have sworn Obama was not an American citizen, or that Michelle was really a man in drag, or that he was tarnishing our "White House" with his "black thinking". I now know I should have started screaming much sooner, severing family and friends way before trump was elected, in general, paying closer attention to QAnon, the Federalist Society and the dribble over at FakeFox and right wing radio. I knew about all of these entities but not as much as I should have. I was far too busy and comfortable wearing my blinders.

We have a willfully ignorant man in office, supported by willfully ignorant "Christians" claiming this man is sent by God! Every time he said something horrible during the 2016 campaign we all thought, surely people will now see him for what he is. And NO, they didn't. Even now when something comes to light his cult ignores it and still claims God has sent him to us. I made the statement on election night, he is the Antichrist and I believe that more than ever. He is evil. 

But I am tired. And I am working on getting the VOTE out. But if he wins again, I really do not have a game plan to hold onto my sanity. And by the way, 187,000 Americans have died as of today from Covid-19.