I took a moment to visit the backyard while the sun was shining. Cleaning dog poop is always my main concern out there. It was nice to a quiet moment and listen to the birds, smell really fresh air and be in a place for the moment that my life makes sense. Where I am not feeling so badly about myself that I want to go hide under a bed, where my eyes aren't burning from wanting to cry, from trying to do what I think is right, enrolling in classes to learn something new, try to keep up with all the new technology and thinking I am picking some of it up until I need help ... then being made to feel like a complete idiot. I feel like I do not have champion ... that I am walking on a razor's edge alone. I guess I have always felt alone, but right now, I can hear the echo of my own breathing. I feel worthless, tiny and insignificant.