We had a "going away" party for Shirley today. We were all there to wish our wonderful, brave friend good passage. It was much easier with all that loved her together in one place, to remember, to celebrate her life.
So this is sad, so get your hankie ready. I have no flowers to photograph! Really, the only thing I could find was a big fennel that found it's way to a small patch of weeds in the front. But with an hour left of light last night after getting home and before going dinner at my neighbors ... I needed, really needed to shoot something, anything. And so, fennel it was!
My life is just splintered right now. No time, absolutely no time for blogging. No time for art. Main computer is in the shop. My son has been spending the last 5 days putting his new pc together and has taken over my normal work space in the family room. I am working on one of my many "old" macs around the house. So I am grabbing a couple of minutes before rushing off the bed. I miss blogging! I am sorry I have been so terrible at answering my email. I keep telling myself, things will get better and this too shall pass.
Tara, Mom and I did our 3rd annual "garage sale Saturday". Didn't find too many things worth noting here. And I was threatened by my husband not to bring any more junk into the garage that he has been cleaning for two weeks (trying to organizing me). Regardless of the lack of 'good finds', we had a great day of driving around, enjoying hamburgers and listening to "This American Life". Stopped by my favorite store in the city (image below)
Then off the a Mariner's Game, a company sponsored "get-together". (Grandmother alert). M drove us to and from the Mariner's game. In the rain and dark. ;0 He is a very good driver, despite his mother in the backseat squealing in a high-pitched voice to "slow down".
Then grocery shopping and ran to work on Sunday. The weekend flew by.
There is one good thing about coming into work on my Sunday to try and get caught up for the coming week ... this link that my pal Katie sent me with subject line "Gorgeous". Ah, yes, total agreement. Pistoles Press blog.
It is time for me to leave work and go home. I picked up a book being reviewed off the free table, started reading and searching. 40 minutes later ... I have not headed for my car. Shame on me! My favorite home computer is in for repair. M got a new pc (I never thought I would have a pc in my house). I am hoping having his own computer to play games, search out graffiti, creating graffiti online will allow my computer a little more room FOR ME and my work, thousands of unnamed photos, etc.
One flower is enough by by Rob Ryan reminds me of this (you know I punched many, many leaves and they stayed like that all summer, even gave one to my friend with the word "love" with a bouquet, and she gave it back to me a year later, pressed!) via Paper Forest.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!
Thank you ALL so very much for soothing me with kindness, emails and treasures during my little down moment. Pushing myself forward, have been cleaning after work this week. Pulling some morning glories from unwanted spots. Walking around a cool, cloudless night dreaming of what I should do in the backyard. I am trying out the new Miller beer with lime this week ... over ice with more lime and salt. The perfect summer night drink.
Judy sent me a present of this wonderful photo and this -- "Hang in there and keep enjoying art, it's the extra oxygen of life". Maridon, who told me "A sparkle by nature is a flickering light", reminds me to hold on and it will return ... sent me a wonderful link to Birdie Jaworksi and her beautiful piece on "Shattered".
My best pal, co-worker gave me an inspiration speech the other night about how I really needed to jump back on board and work on my art. I was making my excuses and telling him about how I feel so overwhelmed with everything in my life right now and art, making art has taken a back seat.
But driving home I started comtemplating why. What has happened to me? Is it menapause? I thought I was through the worst of it. Did my drive haul ass when I turned 50? Leaving me in the middle of a dark road, without a map or flashlight? Is it my new schedule? Has not having that one extra day send my into a tail spend?
Am I feeling completely defeated by life? Dirty, dusty rooms, laundry needing an iron, junk, toilets needed fixing, dryers going out, yard needing attention, cars needing cleaning ... the list I carry around in my head makes it heavy and hard to hold up. And of course, I recoil in guilt thinking, "Listen, Kim, at least you HAVE a house to clean, a yard to enjoy, water to bath in, a toilet to use ..."
My sparkle is gone and I want it back. My ideas have not dried up ... I want to get back in a place that I am excited. A place where my exhilaration pushes me through, makes me want to stay up all night making something, anything.
Today, I made myself get off the sofa, drank lots of coffee and cleaned three rooms! Progress. This week, after work, my art takes a front seat. I will get accomplish something, even if it is a small thing.
Leigh & Diane make me feel so honored to know them, so small in my own bloated life, when I read about their mission... their Global Support Mission! Read about Diane musing on a River. You guys are the greatest.
From June-September 2007, the City of Chicago is hosting “CoolGlobes: Hot Ideas for a Cooler Planet,” an innovative project that uses the medium of public art to inspire individuals and organizations to take action against global warming. See some globes here. Seen in FiberArts Magazine.
Is is chilly outside! Someone is complaining about it and I feel completely lucky that most of the U.S is boiling hot and I am sipping hot chocolate and needing a little wrap around my shoulders. Brilliant!
I finished my second color scheme on Saturday. 6 color schemes for 18 units. Working with the architect we finished the plans on Saturday morning. It feels so natural for me to do and I hope I can do more of them. Of course, when I took it on I felt confident, excited, full of ideas ... when I start applying color to the units, I think "What I am doing?, "How did I think I could ever do this?" ... But I love the colors and the combinations. I have been working up a little "color scheme chart" book, just for me, for fun. Haven't worked out all the kinks yet.
The rest of my weekend should have been filled with cleaning or art, but being completely overwhelmed with choices "to do" list, instead, plopped down on my sofa and watched mindless TV. Napping through most of it. What can I say?