Sunday, November 25, 2007

Trying Not To Cry

When my husband had his first heart attack and I was walking down the corridor back to the car ... I broke down. Stopped in my tracks and wept. Shaking and scared. Then I thought of our son, small and unknowing and I wiped my eyes and headed out the door vowing never to cry, look frightened and confused in front of M. Many more scares and I never broke down again. That happens when you have kids. You become a rock. You don't want your children to be frightened or insecure about their life and parents.

When my mom asked me to call 911 yesterday that stoic feeling came back. Not to lose my emotions in this, one of the scariest feelings in the world. The thought of losing your mom. My mom is in the hospital and they are trying to figure it all out.

my mom in the hospital

25 comments:

Judy said...

Hi Kim, have been reading your blog for awhile now.
Just want you to know that I am sending good, good thoughts to you, your mom and family.

Cassi said...

Kim,
I"m thinking of you. It's a heavy weight to have to be the strong one but I know you can do it. I'll be sending the best of good thoughts to you and your sweet mom and hope to see her back home again real soon. Hugs, Cassi

Dorian Fletcher said...

Oh Kim, how scary. My positive thoughts and good wishes go out to you and your family. Your mom looks like such a vital, active lady - I am sure that she will soon be home.

Deb R said...

Oh no, Kim, I hope the doctors figure out what's wrong and how to help your mom quickly. Sending good thoughts toward you, your mom, and your whole family~~~~~~

kate said...

I am praying for you, your mother, my brother and my nephew. I love you all.
Kate

shash said...

oh kim, i hope your mom will be ok. i'm thinking of you and your family.

Kate I said...

Kim, I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and your mom right now. I feel like I know her a little from all the photo's you've posted...she's such a beautiful woman. Please tell her that although she may not know me, I'm sending love and healing thoughts her way and hope she'll be back creating delicious magic in your kitchen very soon!

s'mee said...

It's difficult for me to see those beautiful hands in such a setting. You both/all have my blessings, prayers, and good good thoughts. hugs and much love.

J a n e said...

Hello my dear...
As you must already know- I had to go through something like this at this time last year...

Although, my mother was very sick- she very much enjoyed and understood my snapping photos of her hands in those days and weeks which dragged into january... that is why I am so drawn to your photo...

Please know- Everything will be okay... she is being very cared for and tomorrow and the next day- will be better and better.

My thoughts are with you and I will be reading each day to follow you through this.

Be well- even rocks need some down time.

XoxoX
J a n e

(p.s. Kiss her lots!!! Mom's love kisses...Haaa!)

Tami said...

Dear Kim:
I am sending positive energy your way. These events are scary, and we humans all go through them, so know that you are encircled by a family of readers you may not know (or never meet)who are keeping you and your mom in their thoughts and prayers.

Kim Carney said...

Everyone! I can't tell you how touched I am, how much the prayers and good thoughts our way are helping. xoxoxoxoox Kim

kelly said...

oh kim....i am sending big hugs your way. i know you are so close
with your mom and i have loved all of the entrys that have shown her.
here's to her coming home soon.

peace chickie.....kelly

Curt said...

Thinking of you all ...

Ellen Byrne said...

Dear Kim,

Good vibes and prayers are coming your way from Maryland!

Cindy Woods said...

thinking of you both and sending well wishes

Wendee said...

Kim - Thinking of you and your family! Hugs, Wendee

Angela said...

Kim, I hope everything is going to be okay! You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers!

Judy said...

Dear Kim,I wish I could do something to help. The very best wishes for your mom and u and take good care of yourself too.

Shelley Noble said...

Hoping for the best for your dear mom, you and your entire loving family.

Such a shock is never easy when you love someone. Thinking of you.

Amy said...

Kim, sending healing thoughts and prayers for you and yours right now. Best wishes for a speedy recovery to your dear momma.

indigo16 said...

In 1992 Tom Stoddart took this iconic photograph http://www.tomstoddart.com/ Which reminds me of this post, you are right, we have to be a rock for our children, our partner, our parents and siblings. When Tom Stoddart met the woman again in 2006 he asked how she felt about the photograph, she said she was angry, not that he took it, but that she was crying, she had vowed not to cry. We cry when we feel life is not under control and as your love for your mother shines through your Blog I hope and pray she gets better very soon.xx

Lesley (El Zed) said...

Good luck, Kim. And lots of good wishes coming your way for you and your mom and your family. Everything will be okay ...
Lesley

mimi k said...

I am sending get well thoughts. Take care.

zigouis said...

I'm thinking of you Kim, good thoughts to your mom, you and family.

Barbara

Beth said...

Hi Kim,

Reading your blog makes Seattle/Redmond seem much closer...thank you for that.

Sending good thoughts and wishes to your mother and your family. Looking forward to seeing good news about your mother soon.