My best pal, co-worker gave me an inspiration speech the other night about how I really needed to jump back on board and work on my art. I was making my excuses and telling him about how I feel so overwhelmed with everything in my life right now and art, making art has taken a back seat.
But driving home I started comtemplating why. What has happened to me? Is it menapause? I thought I was through the worst of it. Did my drive haul ass when I turned 50? Leaving me in the middle of a dark road, without a map or flashlight? Is it my new schedule? Has not having that one extra day send my into a tail spend?
Am I feeling completely defeated by life? Dirty, dusty rooms, laundry needing an iron, junk, toilets needed fixing, dryers going out, yard needing attention, cars needing cleaning ... the list I carry around in my head makes it heavy and hard to hold up. And of course, I recoil in guilt thinking, "Listen, Kim, at least you HAVE a house to clean, a yard to enjoy, water to bath in, a toilet to use ..."
My sparkle is gone and I want it back. My ideas have not dried up ... I want to get back in a place that I am excited. A place where my exhilaration pushes me through, makes me want to stay up all night making something, anything.
Today, I made myself get off the sofa, drank lots of coffee and cleaned three rooms! Progress. This week, after work, my art takes a front seat. I will get accomplish something, even if it is a small thing.
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