Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Wet Northwest Humor

If you are not in the Northwest, pass up this post, you probably will not find it amusing. Forwarded from my friend Jane (and p.s. she is one the funniest woman I know, another very funny friend is Rita). The best of both: genius and humor, both of them.

You know you're from the Pacific Northwest - According To Jeff Foxworthy
1. You know the state flower (Mildew)
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.
26. You measure distance in hours.
27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
28. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer &Elk season (Fall).
30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them!


meggiecat said...

Oh, I laughed so hard and don't own an umbrella! On the flip side our summer days are gloriously long. Yes, I am snagging this to send around..thanks.

phlegmfatale said...

HAR HAR! I actually get most of these. Remember when I came to visit you and I complained to the Edmonds Starbucks manager that they had poop on their floor, then we got back to the car and I figured out I had tracked it in there on my big clunky shoes? Now in Texas, it would have been warm enough for me to smell I had dog crap on my shoes, but not in Washington. Nuh uh.